Saturday, March 24, 2007

The Weekly Wonderings #2

1. Never give the principal of the kids’ school directions anywhere. Even if I’ve been to the art gallery before. Even if I know it’s right next to the Ford dealership. Because it isn’t. It’s next to the Chevrolet dealership.

2. For a woman dressed in traditional Indian garb, is it proper to say “God bless you” when she sneezes?
3. One-line items on my always-expanding, never-ending “To Do” list always seem to suck up hours and hours of my time. The latest? “Switch Luke’s room with play room.”

4. The age at which a child finds a toothpaste-filled, spit-filled, soap scum-filled sink to be so disgusting that he or she will clean it is greater than 10.

5. In sending out information to parents of the kids doing the school’s newspaper, I got a “Dude, I’m not sure I want to accept your email” from one of them. [No, those weren’t the exact words.] You have to go through a couple of steps to get them to actually look at your email, including writing a message. My message to her? “I hope you deign to allow my emails to come through to you.” I wonder if she will or if I’m banished from her mailbox for all eternity?

6. Whenever I turn on the radio and one of “my songs” plays, I always think to myself, “Wow. It must be a sign.” But whenever I turn on the radio and one of “my songs” doesn’t play – a much more frequent occurrence – I don’t say, “Geez, that’s not my song. It must be a sign.”

7. There should be an idiom for dieters when their kids are being absolute pains, “Please, stop it, you’re driving me to eat.”

8. Waking up in the morning and believing it is Saturday only to realize that it is Friday is not as disappointing as it was when I was working.

9. A bumper sticker that makes me laugh out loud, “Proud parent regardless of their grades. My kids get an A in my book.”

10. Our society has gone overboard on warnings. From Trader Joe’s Coconut Curry Chicken Sticks, after the instructions on how to cook them, is the warning, “Always use oven mitts or pot holders when handling hot items.”

2 comments:

scribbit said...

Aren't you full of deep thoughts? You're very funny, these sound like topics of discussion for our house.

chest of drawers said...

Ha, ha, ha - number 7!

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