Saturday, April 7, 2007

The Weekly Wonderings #4

1. Crazy Mentally unbalanced people have it made these days. They are able to walk down the street, screaming and talking to themselves. Because we’re never entirely sure nowadays if they’re talking on a cell phone or not.

2. This leads me to wonder why it is that, in this sleepy little town, the crazy folks seem to be drawn to me. Perhaps aliens have put metal plates in their heads, and I have some magnetic field.

3. How about we all try, for the unbelievably long time of, OMG, 7.2 minutes, to stay off our cell phones while we drop our kids off at school? I get that teens can be tough. But can we at least fake that we can carry our end of the conversation for that long?

4. I happened upon a profile blurb on a blogger’s site which includes the fact that she’s the “MIL of the most beautiful daughter-in-law.” With “MILF” much bandied about these days, we’d better watch them acronyms, eh?

5. If my kids use the same throw blankets every morning in the living room before breakfast, and the blankets are stored in a cabinet, hidden from view, shouldn’t I be able to stop folding them every day before putting them away? [My OCD-like inner self says, "Absolutely not!"]

6. It is time that I implemented a check-out policy in the house as it relates to toys, books, dishes, cups, flatware, paper, markers, crayons and jackets. Because the natural inclination of 4-year-old boys everywhere is to make a mess and move on.

7. Luke, who does not read, now asks me to set the timer for him to do his reading, just as Sammy sets the timer every night for her reading.

8. If someone is dumb enough to give money for a lottery win or to some foreign entity who asked for it in an email, I don’t think the banks should step in and stop them from losing their money. If they don’t have money, they won’t be able to take women out on dates, and they’ll be pulled from the gene pool. I see this as natural selection.

9. How can you tell I’m an American? I have to really think to answer the question in my 4th grade son’s math book, “Which would be the best metric unit to measure the length of your math book?” Damn metric system.

10. “Damn” is a gateway curse.

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