The title? Those are the words I used to describe what I was feeling when asked by a friend last week how it was going. My exact words were, "I just have an impending sense of doom." Brought on, no doubt, by the fact that I have a headache that I am just not able to kick. I've tried all of the OTC remedies to no avail. It's just still here, lurking.
And so I'm crabbier. And bitchier. [Yes, it is possible for me to be even more of a crab and a bitch. I know some might sense that can't possibly be true, but there you have it.] I am not prone to headaches. I have no allergies. In addition to your Advils and your Aleves and your Tylenols, I have been sucking down the real Sudafed, double dosing during the day, convincing myself that these stupid Marin winds are wreaking havoc on my sinuses. Zippo.
The other day, I did what any other true American hypochondriac does: I went to WebMD to see what "he" had to say about it. [I say "he" because, for whatever lame reason, I associate that web site with the dude himself, Dr. C. Everett Koop. Yes, I stoop to Koop.]
Anyway, I started with the Symptom Checker on the home page. I checked the proper gender and age. And I clicked on the head. [Dude, 'cause it's a headache.] And then it lists 85 possible symptoms to select. And before selecting any, I clicked down the list a click or two, and came upon...
I don't really have to tell you, do I? "A sense of impending doom." Now, that really made me laugh. A lot. Like, uncontrollably. Like, maniacally.
And, no, maniacally laughing is not one of the 85 possible symptoms to select.