I’ve walked through life not second guessing where I’ve ended up. I’ve tried not to beat myself up over decisions made or roads taken or not taken. There’s nothing I can do about what’s already been done. To spend time pondering “what if” seems to be time ill spent. For the sake of the prompt, I was going to use said “sick time” to go through my mind and find things I’d change.
But then it occurred to me that I’m already living a second chance. And I’m so grateful for it.
I had been in the Bay Area about 10 years, and most of that time I had been with one man. We worked hard, traveling around the country for various utility companies, doing consulting work, and living a very comfortable life. For the most part, there was plenty of work, which meant plenty of money, which meant a nice house, nice clothes, nice vacations, nice things. We were building a gorgeous house in Tahoe Vista, a beautiful home we were going to live in full-time. It was a magnificent life.
In the end, though, it wasn’t the life for me. That realization came to me New Year’s Eve eve 1995, when a red-light running, uninsured, truck-driving dumb-ass crashed into me. And shook my life up big time. Because that near-death experience made me wake up and look around and realize that I wanted a different life, a better life for me.
Flash forward more than 11 years. I’ve been with Pete the entire time. We’ve got plenty of things, that’s for sure. But they are things the three kids have left around the house – the latest Happy Meal toys, pencils used as drumsticks, half-empty bowls of snacks, Marvel hero shoes, Volcom sweatshirts, pool towels. It’s a comfortable life, all right, but it’s a different kind of comfort. And I’m grateful I got the chance to experience it.
[I’ve posted about regrets and the domino effect of what happens if you change just one thing you regret in your life and how your whole life changes. Most recently I wrote about it in late February, if you’re interested.]
[Today’s post was written in response to a Sunday Scribblings prompt. Do head over and see how others tackled the prompt.]