Saturday, May 19, 2007

The Weekly Wonderings #10

1. At the kids’ school, people lock their fancy new vehicles airtight when they go into the school to volunteer. Everyone does it. Except me. My bird poop-encrusted, 120,000-mile, tow-hitch- attached Jeep sits with its windows down. And me and mine are comfortably cool when we get into the car.

2. Next time I set out to weed whack in my shorts, I should make sure I do my thrice twice once weekly leg shaving first. Ouch. Ouch.

3. We went to the swanky fundraiser for the kids’ school, so I had to get really ready. I shaved! I bought panty hose! And I think to myself, ever so briefly, mind you, “I wish I had some perfume. Maybe I’ll put on the bug spray I bought Sammy. That smells good!”

4. One of the items at the fundraiser up for grabs was a Ladies Night Out. I’m walking with F&B friend and another woman – whom I know and am on “hey-how’s-it-going” terms with – says to my friend, “Did you get in? I hope you’re coming.” She’s clearly saying it to my friend. She even prefaces with my friend’s name. Should I be offended? Probably. I don’t think I care, but if I notice it, doesn’t that mean I care in some way? Just wondering.

5. Further proof that Jehovah’s Witnesses are the true ones? The lone JW in Ryan’s fourth grade class – the girl who doesn’t come to school on the party days of Halloween, Christmas or Valentine’s Day – got four flakes of gold in one swoop while panning for gold during our field trip to the Oakland Museum.

6. I wonder, though, does she get to have whatever treat a kid brings to class on her/his birthday? Did she take a donut yesterday?

7. Speaking of Jehovah’s Witnesses, I was talking to the kids about it being my brother Norman’s 50th birthday. I said, “Fifty years ago today, my mom gave birth to a little boy, her first born.” And what did Ryan say? “And her life was about to get ugly.”

8. Does anybody else have problems with cherries on a bathing suit for a little girl?

9. Ryan’s telling us the story of the dead bird they found at school last week and how there were feathers everywhere and how it only had one leg. Pete noted that a cat must have gotten the bird. Luke said, “But which leg was it? Was it the left leg or the right leg? I hope it was the right leg because the left leg is my favorite.”

10. I’m behind a woman, she’s got to be 70, 75, she’s in a Cadillac in front of me, and she burns rubber exiting the gas station, and then she does an illegal U-turn. I want to be that woman when I grow up.

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