Saturday, May 5, 2007
The Weekly Wonderings #8
1. Does Frito-Lay care that the Verduzo Trucking folks hauling its truckload of Fritos and the like have those sexist mud flaps?
2. When I go into a public restroom after another woman has just vacated the stall, and I use the seat cover, is she insulted? Am I implying that it’s her butt that has diseases I’m afraid I’ll catch?
3. Should I be impressed that someone can open a beer bottle by using his wedding ring? Should his wife be impressed?
4. In our house, being in a hurry gets me nowhere fast.
5. It’s my permissiveness which leads to crappy produce at our house. When shopping with the kids – not an activity I actively advocate – the youngest must be the one to pick out the lettuce, the cucumber, the peppers, etc. I let him, and then the others who demand the right to follow suit, because it beats arguing. But why do they all prefer squishy when an item shouldn’t be squishy?
6. The more I hate something, the more the kids like it. [How’s that for a universal truth? Duh!] The newly five-year-old lad has taken to running around yelling, “We’ve found the source of the ticking. It’s a pipe bomb.” Again, it’s my permissiveness getting in the way, as I allow the two older to share with him the Potter Puppet Pals site.
7. And if you don’t want to have your kids singing the Meow Mix song, don’t teach it to them! Again, that pervasive permissiveness. [I like tuna. I like liver. I like chicken. Please deliver. I defy you to get it out of your head. Bwa-ha-ha!]
8. I pass a kid in the store and shout out, “Hey, Cousin Anthony!” He’s not my cousin. He’s the cousin of a fellow Brownie of Sammy’s. That’s what they call him when he’s hanging with his aunt and cousin. But his mother looks horrified that someone knows her six-year-old son’s name. And calls him “cousin” to boot. I feel for her. And, yes, I explained myself and she breathed a brief sigh of relief.
9. Why does it seem sometimes that I’m the only one making my kids write thank you cards or, in the youngest kid’s case, writing the thank you cards? Oh, because it appears only one or two of us out of 10 take the time to write them.
10. Is it a form of theft if the woman running the used book fair at school sets aside a book for herself? Or is that her right to offset all the crap she’s doing? The book in question? “Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman.”