1. If the moron in the left lane is going just at the speed limit, and you've ridden his bumper for more than a mile and he's still not getting over and still just going the speed limit, go around him. Really. Just do it. You'll feel superior. He'll still be an ass. You won't be.
2. TSA level is at orange. That does not stop the boys from flirting with the girls (or with the other boys, if that's the way they go).
3. When you are on your cell phone an arm's length from someone else, you are not in a bubble. The woman typing an arm's length away from you hears everything you are saying and starts typing gibberish when the conversation gets good.
4. "Clean hands make for good health." So sayeth the sign in the women's room at SFO. Amen.
5. Chapstick is not considered a gel or liquid and does not have to go in a special clear baggie for further inspection by the flirting TSA agents. Secret underarm deodorant is and will. Ditto toothpaste. And wrinkle cream.
6. While I'm two hours away from departing, at this point, my decision to route through Dallas rather than Chicago has been vindicated. The 11:15 p.m. Chicago flight is now scheduled to depart at 2:15 a.m.
7. American Airlines has clearly run out of flight numbers. My San Francisco to Dallas number? 1466. My Dallas to Boston number? 1466. So I should just be able to stay on the same plane at the same gate with a brief stop in Dallas, right? No. Completely different plane departing from a gate just about the farthest away from the gate I landed in.
8. Traveling without children? The universe has decided to sit me in the midst of a school group of 11 year olds. There were 35 of them. And I got to sit next to the chattiest.
9. How is it that my sister and I take the extraordinary effort of red-eyes to get us to Boston while my mother takes the leisurely noon flight, resulting in said sister and I hanging out for hours. And hours. And hours.
10. Women who are all made up for business should peel some of the plaster off when they dash into the Admiral's Club women's room to change into Long Island casual.
Thus ends this special travel edition of The Weekly Wonderings. Next up: live blogging of my aunt's 70th birthday bash. [Kidding!]