Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Weekly Wonderings #14


1. Why do kids I associate with call homeless people “hobos,” and think that they’re borderline cool? The kids are too young to have read “The Grapes of Wrath.” And I doubt they’ve ever heard “King of the Road.”

2. I go to run the dog while Pete is having a work dinner. I leave the kids alone, with Ryan playing guitar (or Xbox as soon as I disappear around the corner) and the other two playing Pokemon. What do I come home to? Luke with pen tattoos of Pokemon characters on all four limbs. “He wanted me to make them,” the beleaguered Sammy says. So what age is old enough to leave at home without adequate supervision? Greater than so close to 9 she can see it.

3. At the optometrist, one receptionist says to the other, explaining her pressing buttons repeatedly on her phone, “Oh, don’t you know about that? Whenever a telemarketer calls, you keep hitting pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, and that tells them to take you off their list.” I said, “Go to
snopes.com because that’s got to be a myth.” And the other receptionist says, “Yeah, remember snopes? That’s where I checked out the brown spider that lives in a toilet.”

4. Driving by a pet supply story, the eldest yells out, “Cool, a place for pets to play!” The sign? “Pet Arcade.” He was kind of disappointed by the truth.

5. One of my daughter’s friends, when asked what she’d like for lunch, says, “I’m a vegetarian like my mom. I only eat farm animals.” I guess I’m nearly a vegetarian, then, eh?

6. During a field trip with the fourth graders, the docent was talking about early Native Americans. [Does anyone want to know about the tardy ones?] He’s showing the kids the weapons, the vestments, the tools, etc. One kid – a spit of a little girl, God bless her – asks, “Did they kill the woodpeckers to get their beaks?”

7. That reminds me of a former colleague’s story of her young(ish) son asking, “How do cows give us their meat?”

8. I have discovered the one person whom Ryan prefers his sister to: a stranger.

9. As Sir Luke has graduated from preschool, there will no longer be the thrice-weekly trip past the Neptune Society and my frequent giggle. Nearly every day, I would see a photo op that I never capitalized on: a worker smoking outside. Is that not classic?

10. No? That’s not classic? Well, how about my conversation with Sammy when I explained to here (yet again) why she’d no longer be dancing at Love2Dance? I said, “I’m not going to let you learn to dance like a stripper on a pole.” She said, “Mom, that’s gymnastics!”

2 comments:

Bubba's Sis said...

Oh, thank you for the laughs!! I guess I am pretty much a vegetarian, too! Well, except when I eat seafood - but I'm pretty sure all those other animals I eat are from a farm! :-)

And yes, watch out for those skanky gymnastics girls! They are trouble! ;-)

Sara said...

Killing elephants for tusks, woodpeckers for beaks - it all makes sense now!

Cheers for the laughs!

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