Friday, July 13, 2007

I Shot the Sheriff


I am not a rebel. I might have fancied myself as one when I was a teenager. But that was more to justify doing incredibly stupid things. Things that no one should be doing today. Especially any children of mine, you got that kids?

A recent exchange with the youngest lad got me thinking about my law-breaking habits. There's a cool program in place at Century Theatres, the mighty chain recently swallowed up by Cinemark which has yet to go to the expense of changing a single sign or advertisement or uniform insignia.

Anyhow, the cool program is called The Summer Movie Clubhouse, and they're showing movies for a buck each Tuesday at 9:30 a.m. You can buy a pass for all 10 movies for $5. Right, movies which are 50 cents each! Woo-hoo!

A great program. One that we all feel so good about the monopolistic chain for doing. And we know that the participating theatre plans to make bank from us folks at the concession stand. But I'm not falling for that.

I’ve been to Smart & Final to buy our candy so all we’re buying is popcorn and one soda. On our way in the first time, Luke says, “It’s illegal to bring in your own candy.” I say, “It’s not illegal. It’s just against the rules. Now quiet.” He says, “It’s against the rules to bring in your own candy.” I say, “Say it when we’re in there, and you won’t get your M&Ms.” Dead silence.

So, I'm a rule breaker when it comes to sneaking in candy to a theatre. But I don't do anything illegal. Or do I? I've made a list of the laws I break. I bet I break more, but this is all I've got for now.

1. I go faster than the posted speed limit. (Never in a 25 mph zone.)

2. I don’t have my not-yet-60-pound or 6-year-old son in a car seat.
3. I sometimes let that child sit up front not in a car seat. (After dropping Pete off at the bus stop.)

4. I have purchased Sudafed and given it to someone else. Why, I should be arrested for dealing meth!

5. I walk the dog off leash when you’re not supposed to have dogs off leash.

6. I walk the dog – off leash even! – on the high school grounds.

I think that's it. I guess my midnight rebel yell would be, "Bore, bore, bore!" Oops, I'm mixing my rock stars up. Clapton. Idol. Whatever.

How about you? Anything you'd care to add to the list (and risk the wrath of who-knows-which governmental agency might be lurking in the shadows)?

9 comments:

Shannon said...

Yeah, I speed too. Ooops. I can't help it-I haven't gotten caught in awhile, but I used to be a speeding ticket regular. I also let me B sit up front when we drive from one end of a shopping plaza to another. I also sometimes let her have a bit of the grapes in the grocery store as we wheel around-without washing and before they've been weighed. Bad momma. :) I actually am a little bit bad lots of the time, but I can't really think of them all here. Maybe I'm not as "bad" as previously thought. :)

Sian said...

Apparently I've done a bit of bandwidth thieving in my time. I still don't know what a bandwidth is or what I have done with it but I have been assured (by a computer literate husband) that I have stopped doing it now. Whew!

jenica said...

most of my illegal things lately are justified by pregnancy. i'm just too tired to walk from the back of the parking lot, so i park in handicapped if i'm just running in. or, if we're only going around the neighborhood only the baby gets buckled because i don't want her walking around the van. and i really think i have the ultimate excuse for speeding when i want to. slap my wrist will ya? but i'm going to keep doing it!

Florinda said...

Not illegal, but a rule-breaker:
I bring my own bottled water AND snacks into the movies. If they ever start doing bag searches, I'm in for it. But my husband has to get his popcorn and Coke, so we're not totally stiffing the concession stand.

I always keep the dog on leash, and take a bag with me - but if she chooses to do her business in an area where no one's likely to be walking (NOT on a lawn or sidewalk) and it's surrounded by ground cover plants, I don't always pick up after her.

Most of the time, I'm too scared of getting caught to go very far outside the lines.

Java said...

Ok, dude. What is up with the not putting the kid in the car seat? Have you seen the idiot drivers they allow on the streets?

Sadly, I don't break the law much any more. I am, however, obsessed with a little game I play in my head which involves spotting the things I could easily steal because people are too careless, trusting, stupid. Suburban stay-at-home moms would make the perfect criminals; no one would suspect us of a thing (except of course not buckling the children.)

Also, I'd love to plan the perfect (imaginary)heist. Anyone?

bubandpie said...

Somebody smart left a comment on my blog awhile back citing an Important Theorist Whose Name I Now Forget who has a theory that we demonstrate our belonging to a society not by obeying the rules but by knowing which ones to break. This post is a case in point.

Bubba's Sis said...

Hubby once snuck a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts into the movie theater in his jacket!

Sometimes you just need a doughnut.

Jolene said...

I think the movie theatre concession stands are the ones breaking the law. It's price gouging and it's criminal. I do not feel bad bringing in my own snacks and soda (in the winter), can't seem to get away with it in the summer. It's not like we are stealing. I'd gladly buy the stuff at the concession stand if I didn't have to take out a loan to do so.

Oh yeah, about breaking the law. Well, I speed all the time except in school zones. I went to a certain mechanic once when I knew my car wouldn't pass inspection elsewhere. He just slapped the sticker on and I gave him the money. Funny thing - years later that same mechanic got caught for doing that one too many times and my old lawfirm had to defend him in court :) I also took advantage of a pricing mistake at Wal-Mart. Formula normally cost like $15.00 a can and for some reason that day it was coming up at $5.00. Did I bring it to the cashier's attention? Hell no, I sent the husband back in to grab about 8 more cans.

I'm going to hell for sure.

Patience said...

Isn't the posted speed limit the slowest you're supposed to go?? I'm going to jail.

Rides to Heaven on a Gyroscope

A couple of months ago, I saw a client I hadn't seen for a number of months. Like more than a dozen people have in the recent past, she ...