Monday, July 16, 2007

Jump One, Jump Twosday #2: Uncommon Criminals

Back for Week 2 of the exciting new game Jump One, Jump Twosday? Congratulations to you. Again, the rules are simple. I will supply you with the names of two people. You have to choose which one you would jump. Do not let your sexual orientation get in the way of playing. Do not let the living status of the options get in your way. You must choose one of the two. Suicide is not an option. “Jump,” of course, is a polite way of saying “having your way with sexually.”

What was the score
last week? Steven Spielberg: 10. Stephen King: 1.

This week’s game deals with two criminals currently in the news.

Jump One is Paris Hilton. Do I really need to describe Paris to you? It’s enough to say that many, many guys can say to each other, “We’ll always have (had) Paris.” Busted for DUI in September 2006 and busted twice again for driving with a suspended driver’s license, she was given a jail sentence. Who can forget the storm surrounding her jail sentence, her early release, her return to prison and her ultimate serving of 22 days of her 45-day-sentence? Of course, there’s so much more to her than just her jailbird status.

Jump Two is none other than Lewis “Scooter” Libby, the former chief of staff for Vice President Dick “Birdshot” Cheney. Libby was found guilty on four counts: one for obstruction of justice, one for making false statements to federal investigators and two for perjury. He was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison, fined $250,000 and ordered to do 400 hours of community service. All this related, of course, to the investigation of who leaked the identity of an active CIA agent, the lovely and making-bank-on-the-whole-debacle Valerie Plame. How much time will Cheney’s pet serve? Zippo. Why? Because President George “I will take care of whoever did this” Bush commuted his sentence, calling it excessive. He took care of him, eh?

Jump One?
Jump Two?
For me, hands down, it’s Paris. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool heterosexual. I am so much more into intelligence than looks. I am forever scorning celebrities. For those reasons, Scooter should be a shoo-in for me. Alas, the man is evil, pure and simple. And I’ll take a pseudo-blonde former jailbird over the devil in a suit any day.

How about you?

Wanna play? Vote for your jump in the comments or in your own blog and link to it in the comments.

[Paris Hilton booking photo as seen in Dallas Morning News.]
[Scooter Libby photo by Associated Press.]


Jillie Bean (AKA Bubba's Sis) said...

Gosh, I reckon I'd have to go with Paris, too. Not that I'm a fan, but she beats the creepy bad old guy.

Debi said... don't believe in making things easy, do you? They both turn my stomach. But I'm gonna have to go with Paris as well...just paste and copy your reasons.

Anonymous said...

Yep, Paris here too for the exact same reasons as everyone else. That's hot.

The Owners said...

She needs bigger boobs, but I guess I'd pick Paris too. I'm not into men my father's age.

Did you see Paris' latest nip slip? Do these girls ever learn? There's at least two each week for the world's perusal.

Sian said...

Politics either side of the pond leave me cold and I don't know much about any of their filthy shennanigins. Miss Hilton however is as inescapable as the common cold.
So I'll go for the blonde, only because I know her name though. I'm sure she is equally dodgy, she just hasn't been found out yet.

Anonymous said...

From a "shy" friend: "So would pick Scooter Libby."

Anonymous said...

From a Maya's Mom reader:

"Damn, this is really tough!! I HATE them both but I think I hate Paris more. I have to say Scooter Libby, but the lights need to be out!"

Mayberry said...

That is cruel! I would have to hold my nose and pick Scooter, because I would be less concerned that he would give me a disease or videotape the whole sordid thing.

Joanne said...

Very tough one. I can't imagine losing myself and yelling out "Oh, Scooter! Oh yeah, right there, Scooter!"

But I have very little tolerance for stupid people and Paris is stupid, for sure.

I'm gonna go with Scooter. He may be evil and repulsive, but I bet he's a good speller.

Anonymous said...

For sure, easy one. Paris. As long as she doesn't talk! And the way I figure it, if things go well maybe she'll buy some of my art, I'll become famous, then I can quit my job, and so on.


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