Back for Week 2 of the exciting new game Jump One, Jump Twosday? Congratulations to you. Again, the rules are simple. I will supply you with the names of two people. You have to choose which one you would jump. Do not let your sexual orientation get in the way of playing. Do not let the living status of the options get in your way. You must choose one of the two. Suicide is not an option. “Jump,” of course, is a polite way of saying “having your way with sexually.”
What was the score last week? Steven Spielberg: 10. Stephen King: 1.
This week’s game deals with two criminals currently in the news.
Jump One is Paris Hilton. Do I really need to describe Paris to you? It’s enough to say that many, many guys can say to each other, “We’ll always have (had) Paris.” Busted for DUI in September 2006 and busted twice again for driving with a suspended driver’s license, she was given a jail sentence. Who can forget the storm surrounding her jail sentence, her early release, her return to prison and her ultimate serving of 22 days of her 45-day-sentence? Of course, there’s so much more to her than just her jailbird status.
Jump Two is none other than Lewis “Scooter” Libby, the former chief of staff for Vice President Dick “Birdshot” Cheney. Libby was found guilty on four counts: one for obstruction of justice, one for making false statements to federal investigators and two for perjury. He was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison, fined $250,000 and ordered to do 400 hours of community service. All this related, of course, to the investigation of who leaked the identity of an active CIA agent, the lovely and making-bank-on-the-whole-debacle Valerie Plame. How much time will Cheney’s pet serve? Zippo. Why? Because President George “I will take care of whoever did this” Bush commuted his sentence, calling it excessive. He took care of him, eh?
For me, hands down, it’s Paris. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool heterosexual. I am so much more into intelligence than looks. I am forever scorning celebrities. For those reasons, Scooter should be a shoo-in for me. Alas, the man is evil, pure and simple. And I’ll take a pseudo-blonde former jailbird over the devil in a suit any day.
How about you?
Wanna play? Vote for your jump in the comments or in your own blog and link to it in the comments.
[Paris Hilton booking photo as seen in Dallas Morning News.]
[Scooter Libby photo by Associated Press.]
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