Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Weekly Wonderings #20


1. Yes, just two days shy of five months ‘til Christmas, I start my Christmas shopping. In my defense, I happened upon the Discovery Channel Store, and it turns out they’re going out of business. The money I saved! Oh, and the money I spent!

2. I’m the tough mom, that’s for sure. We have sisters visiting, one a friend of my daughter’s and the other a bit older than my youngest lad. Awakening Sunday morning after spending the night, they plead for donuts. Pete goes out gets our usual bagels and adds donuts to the list. The younger girl finishes her donut, then asks for a bagel. She eats very little of it before declaring, “My tummy is full.” All righty, then. “Can I have a cookie?” The age-old question slips from my lips, “If your tummy is full, how can you eat a cookie?” When their mom comes to pick them up, I note that I force-fed her daughter half a bagel before letting her have a cookie. Does that make me a tough cookie?

3. The choices the kids make astound me sometimes. [I suppose I’m astounded that I’m astounded this late in the game.] The daughter begs to feed the dog. I let her. “Oops.” What has she done? We always pour a bit of oil over the dry food to make it more palatable and her coat shinier and so on. The top of the oil thingamajig drops off into the dog food. That’s what necessitated the “Oops.” She scoops the top out, puts it back on and then pours more oil onto the dog food. I freak out saying, “Girl, when there was already way too much oil on the food, why’d you pour more?” Skulking, sulking, she walks dejectedly to her room. And I run to the computer to write it down.

4. If you tell us we need to cover our pool, we’ll do it. But we’ll waste more water pulling the damn thing out than we’d ever waste with evaporation. I’m just telling you.

5. Eldest asks if when he’s 15 – five years from now – if the three kids can travel by airplane alone somewhere. Eldest adds the caveat that it assumes that youngest would be good at 10. Youngest says, “I’m 5 and I know 6,592,400 gazillion things. But there’s two things I don’t know: how to be nice and how to be polite. But by 10, I will.” Taking bets?

6. The youngest and I were doing Scribbit’s craft of the week. [Thank you, dear Scribbit, for keeping small minds occupied. Oh, the kids’ minds, too.] We’re done and the youngest leaves. I scream bellow call sweetly to him to get his sorry butt back up and help me clean up. He comes up, but he balks at helping. Why? “’Cause you’re the slave mom. Yeah, yeah, you’re the slave mom.” Singing, of course, to The Beatles’ tune.

7. I find a perfect gorgeous shell at the beach at dusk. I can’t believe my find. I go to yell to Pete and the kids about the perfect shell. Thankfully, I notice many other perfect shells around. Yes, that’s right, it’s a pistachio nut shell.

8. We went out to dinner, the boys and me, to celebrate Pete’s birthday. The girl didn’t go ‘cause she’s out roughing it in the woods with the other Girl Scouts. We get her back this morning. So the waitress chats us up at some point, saying Bonds hit a homer. I cover my mouth and say to Pete, “Stupid motherfu$#@#.” The eldest wants to know what I said. He’s intrigued a great deal about cursing. I won’t tell him. One of his guesses? SOAB. I told him the correct term is SOB.

9. Coming home, we spy a plastic bag tied to our doorknob. I think it’s likely a window cleaning place, a painter, a gardener, or maybe the curb-painting schemers. The eldest? He says, “What if there’s a dead bird in it?” Say what? Where the hell did that thought come from? He says, “Maybe they saw a dead bird on the street and picked it up and put it here.” Again, say what?

10. I’m trying to ask the youngest if he’d like to go with me to take the dog, carefully wording the question so the dog doesn’t catch on. No matter. The dog cocks her head at me. I say to Pete, “Why does that dog listen to me?” Pete says in response, “She’s the only one who does.”

3 comments:

Bubba's Sis said...

I love your weekly wonderings! Thanx for making me smile today!

Scribbit said...

Never heard the Beatles used quite that way :)

allrileyedup said...

#5 -- soooo cute!

Rides to Heaven on a Gyroscope

A couple of months ago, I saw a client I hadn't seen for a number of months. Like more than a dozen people have in the recent past, she ...