Thursday, August 16, 2007

I Feel Like Death Eating a Cracker

Linda at Are We There Yet, mother extraordinaire, is holding a contest to give away a coffee mug designed by her daughter, Amanda, at Artistic Intoxication. All I have to do is write a post about when I felt like death eating a cracker. Now, am I in need of a coffee mug? No, I’m not. But a coffee mug as cool as the one they’re offering? Hell, yeah. I’ll start drinking coffee again to get my hands on that. Moreover, I’ve got a killer story on when I felt that horribly.

I wrote about the occasion the day after it happened on my original
blog. I don’t even need to read that entry to remember everything about it.

My sister and her husband Tom were up from L.A. for a few days. Tom had a conference he was attending, and had a room at the very, very posh
Clift Hotel. We made plans to have a grand dinner at the fabulous Rubicon for Saturday night. No kids, just me and Pete with Ginny and Tom. And since they were buying, you know it was going to be high-priced and delicious.

And it was delicious. I had soup as a starter, followed by a to-die-for Sonoma chicken, and a scrumptious frozen chocolate dessert. I had a glass or wine or two during dinner and I enjoyed coffee with the dessert.

And then it struck. Horribly quickly. I was sick, sick, sick. I felt a bit queasy right after the coffee and dessert. And it went downhill from there. I went outside for some air, but that wasn’t going to do it. I told the others I wasn’t feeling well. We decided to get back to the swanky hotel they were staying in (and near where we had parked our car).

Hopped in a taxi, we did, and before it pulled away, I knew I’d never make it back to the hotel. The driver did his best, but we ultimately got stuck in traffic. A block from the hotel, Tom and I bailed out and ran, ran, ran to the hotel lobby. The ladies’ room? Totally crowded. The men’s room? A couple of people in it.

Yelling, “Medical emergency, coming through,” Tom ushered me into the men’s room, kicking everyone else out. Sick, sick, sick. And sick, sick, sick some more. In a freakin’ men’s room. On a hopping Saturday night. At a fancy-schmancy hotel.

Exiting after the spell passed, I came upon the three of them in the lobby. I feebly indicated that I thought Pete and I should try to make it home. We decided to go up to their room first. By the time the elevator let me off, it was another mad dash to their room and its bathroom. Sick, sick, sick. And sick, sick, sick some more.

The romantic evening the two had planned was kaput. Pete went home to the kids and the sitter alone. I ended up staying in their room, sleeping in the queen bed nearest the bathroom. By about 2 a.m., the horrid stomach cramps and puking and etcetera had eased and I was able to sleep.

Like death eating a cracker? Oh, yeah!

[There is a post script to the event. I ended up emailing the restaurant about my experience, just letting them know what had happened in case it happened to anyone else. I didn't ask for anything in return -- like some cash back off the nearly $500 bill. I got a reply from their executive chef saying, among other things:

"Food borne illnesses typically occur 4 to 8 hours after the bacteria enters the system. Possibly, breakfast or lunch could have played a major role in your sickness."

Thanks, mate!]


Bea said...

I am so not up on the hot lingo - I thought this meant that you had to feel like death while you were eating a cracker. And I almost have a good story like that - a good friend of mine has gained lasting infamy for the tone of voice in which she whined, "I don't want to eat the spicy cracker!" as her mother plied her with food just moments before her wedding ceremony.

Really, not the same thing at all.

Linda said...

Oh you poor thing! What a horrible ending to what had previously been planned as such a wonderful night. I've had food poisoning just once and I remember it to this day - it was NOT a pleasant experience at al1!

If you could win the contest on sympathy alone that coffee mug would be on its way to you pronto!

Good luck and thanks so much for playing along!


Jeni said...

Just wanted to thank you for visiting my blog - read through here and really enjoyed your posts too! I told Linda I really NEED another coffee mug but I know my daughter would say I NEED one like I need a freaking hole in my head - I WANT one of those mugs! LOL My sympathy to you on your go-round there with the stomach issues though. Heck of an end to what looked to be a really promising night, wasn't it?


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