Monday, September 10, 2007

Jump One, Jump Twosday #10: The View to a Kill

You’re kidding, right? Rosie O’Donnell outdone on Day 1 by the illustrious Whoopi Goldberg? Who else can we choose between besides these two? I mean, good Lord, this fell into my lap. [So to speak.]

You know da rules? I give you the names of two people. You have to choose which one you would jump. Do not let your sexual orientation get in the way of playing. Do not let the living status of the options get in your way. You must choose one of the two. Suicide is not an option. “Jump,” of course, is a polite way of saying “having your way with sexually.” (But you knew that, didn't you?)

Jump One is Rosie O’Donnell, former cast member co-host of ABC’s chick show “The View.” Let me start by saying I’ve never watched “The View.” My experience with Rosie on that show or having her own talk show is nil. I saw the girl-on-girl baseball movie she did. I’ve heard some of her stand-up routines. The only other experience I have with her is what I read in the “legitimate” press or on the substantially more reliable wikipedia. I see her as a loud mouth who never backs down, right or wrong. I find her funny, but more in a “laughing-at-sense” than a “making-me-laugh” sense.

Jump Two is Whoopi Goldberg, brand new cast member co-host of “The View.” Let me start this by saying I’ve never seen her on “The View” either. If she had a talk show before, I never saw that. I saw “The Color Purple.” I liked her in that. I saw “Ghost.” I liked her in that. I’ve heard some of her stand-up routines. I seem to recall she did some fundraiser or other with Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. I never watched it, but… So, most of what I know from her comes again from the “legitimate” press or wikipedia. I heard what she said last week about Michael Vick. It’s my understanding that she’s since apologized. BFD.

Who’s it gonna be? Jump One?

Rosie O'Donnell
Or Jump Two?

Whoopi Goldberg

Dude, I know I’m turning people off with these choices. I really just want to say, “Monty, I’ll take Door #3.” But that ain’t the purpose of the game, is it? We have to hold our collective noses and choose. So don’t jump to another blog, people. Choose. I choose Whoopi. I can’t believe I just typed those words. But at least she had the decency to say she had been wrong.

So, with no Door #3, who you going to jump? And don’t say “Off a cliff.”

[O’Donnell photo from; Goldberg photo from]


Joanne said...

Man, these choices! You're brutal! I gotta go with Whoopi as well. And now that I've felt the full of effect of my having typed that, I must go scrub my body down with a loofah.

Rebecca said...

Whoopi. Not because she's an appealing choice or anything, but at least I could get a groan out of people with a bad "making whoopi" pun.

The Owners said...

Ugh. I so don't like either of these choices. I think I would choose Rosie. I come from a whole line of loud mouths and I think we would get along just fine.

Becky said...

Whoopi, by far. I loved her in Ghost, too! Rosie disgusts me. End of story. (short-winded, for once!) ;)

Jillie Bean (AKA Bubba's Sis) said...

Whoopi. But still, ick.

C said...

I'd jump Whoopi.

THEN jump off a cliff!

Sian said...

Do you know? I love this game. It is so horrible but strangely addictive, like yogurt covered pretzels
I say Rosie, cos I like the name.


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