Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Weekly Wonderings #29

1. Estranged from her older brother for years, my friend D. sent a note to his widow, telling her that she was glad her brother had found her, that it sounded as if they were good to each other, and that it sounded as if her brother’s last years were good thanks to his wife. Knowing their rather grim financial status, she also offered to pay for the funeral. Months went by, and D. heard nothing. One day, about six months after her brother’s death, she got a stack of papers with the note, “D., pay this.”

2. D. knows the widow’s English is not particularly good, so she doesn’t hold the brevity of the note against her. But D. marvels at the fact that not one cent had been paid, and the funeral home had sent the outstanding bill into collections. D. contacted the funeral home, explained the situation. They were more than happy to take it out of collections and have D. send them a check. D. asks, “Do you take credit cards?” Why, yes, they do. So D. puts it on two credit cards, figuring she might as well get miles for it.

3. I don’t know what his name really was, but I’ll forever more think of D.’s brother as Miles.

4. Speaking of death, Life Savers has come out with some sour candies. We’ve bought a bag (or two). Included are the green sours, which I’m not real fond of nor is the eldest. He says, “Just pretend they’re invisible and don’t exist.” My comeback? “Why don’t I just pretend you’re invisible and don’t exist?”

5. And, truly, what is it with my kids? I can’t even get them to eat green candy, much less vegetables.

6. Le daughter, to her Dad, “Mom says I can’t buy it. So I might not be able to buy it.” While you can if you keep sucking up to your Dad!

7. Over Labor Day, we were at the beach with some church folks. I was talking about how the first Sunday of each month – known as “Bring a Friend Day” – is something I call “Bring a Sinner Day” as that’s the day I drag my husband in.

8. One of the women mishears what I say and says, “I didn’t know that’s what it is. I don’t think I know anyone.” She things I said “Bring a Senator Day.”

9. I laugh even harder when she mishears another woman saying how she doesn’t watch traditional movies. She prefers porn. What?!!! No, she prefers foreign.

10. If we can tie Larry Craig into it, we’d be able to watch the porn on “Bring a Senator Day.”

7 comments:

Bubba's Sis said...

Your Weekly Wonderings always make me smile - this one cracked me up! I'll never forget Miles.

Jeni said...

These ten items were great -really great! The one about the daughter schmoozing her dad -boy, how well all kids learn that one, for sure! But I loved your last one tied back to the porn and senator misunderstanding. Too funny!

Mom on Coffee said...

OMG, too damn funny. Big Daddy came wandering in the room just to find out what had me giggling so.

bubandpie said...

I guess that's another facet of the power of the elderly - the power to hear really funny things that the person didn't actually say.

allrileyedup said...

Is bring a sinner really so different from bring a senator?

Maria said...

That was really, really funny and something that would happen to me since I mishear every other word....

Bring a sinner day, huh?

jenica said...

hehe. i love misunderstood convo's!

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