Thursday, November 8, 2007

Haiku: Loneliness


One Deep Breath is one of my favorite places to visit. The prompts these ladies come up with, the background they provide on the prompts, and the general peacefulness of the whole set up is just perfect.

They’re looking for prompt suggestions, so I sent a couple. And then they asked me to actually write some haiku in support of one – loneliness. So I did. And these are them. And this week, they used my suggested prompt and included my ku on the page. I feel as if I’m published. [Now I’m just being silly, right?]

I wrote these in a burst of inspiration, when I was feeling so coldly alone not that long ago and conjuring up how my son feels most days. I am better now. I hope he can work through his issues and be able to propel himself to be with others.

Shadowy figure
amid the hustle, bustle.
I am separate.

Slouching, nonchalant
my son watches others at play,
unable to approach.

19 comments:

g said...

Wow. I felt the sadness. Even the existentialist aspect. Really.

I am separate. -- seems so meaningful.

Good read! ^_^

Jeni said...

Amazing how in three little sentences you can convey the feeling, the actual emotional emptiness deep inside of loneliness. Good job. Or, as Maya would say, "Doyay, doyay, All done, all done. Good job!"

Beck said...

Poor little munchkin.

Ričardas said...

3x2 lines of loneliness. Very nicely done.

http://ricardo-haiku.blogspot.com/

Sian said...

Oh my, you have wrapped that up so well Patois. Heartbreaking... but well done.
:)

Gina said...

I hope he will get there soon. It takes a lot to put yourself out there.

christine said...

Oh good, you posted these. I was here earlier in the week looking. You had a wonderful idea with the prompt this week. The last one really got to me as our oldest had this trouble. Poor little munchkin, indeed. Your words speak volumes simply - perfectly. Thank you!

mitzh said...

The first one breaks me apart yet I love it...

Sandy said...

Glad you are feeling better! Good poems from a deep place. Nice idea for a prompt, by the way.

D... said...

I go through that with my daughter sometimes. It's hard.

Great job with your burst of inspiration. I'm glad you are better now. I hope for the same for your son.

Secret Agent Mama said...

Awwwww... :( Poor gem. :(

Secret Agent Mama said...

Thank you for posting the link! I love these types of things and will incorporate it into my haiku friday!!

Toni said...

I hope that your son is able to work through his "stuff" and be able to join in with the others.

I can relate to the loneliness haiku; I feel that way often. Great post and congrats on being "published"!

WorksForMom said...

Wow, my heart actually ached after reading it. Poor guy.

I can relate. Recently some toddlers kept pushing my son off a toy. He took it, let them and just kept getting back up. It haunts me still.

Clare said...

Hi Patois -- your haiku broke my heart. You wrote them so beautifully and with such feeling. I hope things go better for your son -- it's terrible to feel so alone.

LittleWing said...

little boys...there is no more gentle heart than a little boy...beautiful...

jenica said...

break my heart!

i had my pics used a few times last month on self portrait challenge. i felt like i had WON the LOTTERY!!!

Jenn in Holland said...

Lovely, lovely. Heartbreaking, but lovely.

Barone said...

These are gorgeous. I really felt the second one about your son, both as the child and as a mother....thanks for a powerful prompt!
jodi

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