Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Jump One, Jump Twosday #20: Howard be Thy Name

Major thanks to Works for Mom for her suggestion for the jump choices this week!

You know the rules, yes? Two people to choose from. You must choose one. Your reasons can be your own. Perhaps you find one more attractive than the other? I’m guessing this week that it’s going to be based on the lesser of two evils.

Jump One is
Howard Stern of New York (and syndicated) radio fame. Along with Janet Jackson’s boob, he is the poster child for why the FCC exists. A couple of years ago, Stern made the jump to Sirius, thus removing himself from ever increasing fines imposed by the FCC. He’s crude. He’s hilarious. He’s the shock jock. He has taken his radio franchise and parlayed it into books and movies. He has an audience, and it isn’t always white teen-age boys.

Jump Two is
Howard K. Stern, late of the Bahamas and former lawyer, worshipper and “husband” of the (still) dead Anna Nicole Smith. The bizarre life and times of Smith played out with Stern in the shadows. That is, until they named him as the father on the birth certificate of Dannielynn. Following Smith’s death and DNA testing, the truth came out that the father was Larry Birkhead, another fine specimen of a human. What Stern is up to nowadays is anybody’s guess.

Well? Can’t wait to choose, can you? Is it Jump One?
Jump One: Howard SternOr Jump Two?
Jump Two: Howard K. SternExcuse me while I go get sick. All right. I’m back. Blech. That’s my reaction to these two choices. They’re both plain gross. For starters, I’m going to need to put a bag on the “winner” and get it over as quickly as possible. I’ll take the shock jock. At least he’s got a sense of humor. Granted, it’s not always my type of humor, but he can sometimes hit the mark. I’ll try to think back a couple of decades to my college days, before he was syndicated, and we could pick up his rants from a New York station. I laughed then. I’ll try not to cry now.

Who’s it going to be for you?

[Shock jock Stern photo courtesy Business Week; lawyer Stern photo courtesy Fox News.]

14 comments:

cjh said...

Ooooh, excellent picks. How weird is it that two creepy guys share the same name? I don't like either of them but I think I'll go with the lawyer. I'm guessing he's gay and couldn't follow through. That's the hope I would desperately cling to anyway...

Gina said...

Oh argh, they are both indeed bad.

I'll go for radio jockey. I think. Only because you are forcing me.

Alpha DogMa said...

“husband” of the (still) dead Anna Nicole Smith: HAHAHAHAHA!

Hmm...slightly misogynistic, baldy coiffed Stern or Stern The Enabler? I'm going with the radio jock - for the same reasons as you. Plus I always found him amusing when he was on Letterman -- in the days of yore.

Florinda said...

Yeah, I know this is a "death is not an option" thing, but - please? please?

Oh well. If I have to, I'll go for Howard without the middle initial. His movie Private Parts a few years back made him seem remotely tolerable at times.

WorksForMom said...

I'd pick shock jock howard. Just because I liked his movie and his candid (albeit often total disgusting and inappropriate) thoughts.

Had more ideas. Did you do Jerry Seinfeld or Jerry Springer? Bruce Willis or Bruce Lee? George Clooney or George Lopez? Brad Pitt or Brad Paisley?

OK - Sorry I have to contain myself. Will. stop. now. ;)

Toni said...

I puked in my mouth just thinking of this one. If forced to chose, eek!, I would choose nasty Radio Jockey Stern. Uh, he just isn't quite as distasteful as Anna Nicole's fella.

Bren said...

Ugh, I'll go with pervy Howard Stern. As much as I hate to admit it, he has made me laugh a few times.

Linda said...

I'm going to say a stern NO to both of them despite the fact that you say we have to pick at least one. I just can't do it .. a woman's got to have her standards and neither of these two morons fit into mine.

I'm sorry but I'm going gay for this one ..

D... said...

Icky, icky, icky!!!! I'm not sure I can pick one. But, if you are forcing me, I'll go with the creepy lawyer. The shock jock is just too nasty for me, even though he has made me laugh numerous times.

Jeni said...

Had I ever been given a choice between those two, I would gladly have opted for a life of abstinence. Get me off to the nunnery, for sure!

Bubba's Sis said...

Ick. I can't stand Howard Stern, so I'll take the creepy lawyer. Maybe, as cjh says, he's gay and won't be able to follow thru.

Maria said...

No, no, no...and you can't make me...

sandy shoes said...

I'll take the lawyer, even though he'll probably want me to pee on him.

chichimama said...

Can't I choose myself? Really, ewww.

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