I have a saying -- I know, you're thinking, "How many stupid sayings does this woman have?" -- that I use quite frequently. "I was never a girl." That's what I say when fellow women make comments such as, "Oh, these stiletto heels are so fun!" Or "I just love how she's done her hair." Or "You should really start dying your hair to cover up the gray." Or "Isn't that dress divine?"
Yeah, I was never a girl. I never did the doll thing. I never played with Barbie dolls. I never ached to be a model. I never did the shopping thing. I never tested make-up. I never did my friends' hair (or vice versa). I never stood outside the high school boys' locker room after the football game, giggling, in hopes of being spoken to by a jock. I never played dumb to get a boy.
I did have a doll once. She was one of those new-fangled talking ones. Stupid Michelle up the street broke it the first day I had it. Stupid Michelle.
My mom didn't start wearing make-up until she was about 35 or so, when a "friend" told her how much better she'd look with some blush, mascara and lipstick. So it wasn't there when I was a kid to mess around with. Just as it isn't there for my daughter to mess around with.
Except...now there are all these make-up kits for little girls. Barbie- or Bratz-stamped make-up kits so girls of 5, of 6, of 9 can practice putting on make-up. There's a role model I want my daughter to have: a Bratz tramp. Ick.
I was never a girl. That's why I'm ill-at-ease in dresses. As soon as the dress code was busted at the elementary school level and pants could be worn, I was so there. Until I left college for the hellacious working world, I'd worn a dress approximately four times, all for formal dances.
I was never a girl. That's why there is gray in my hair. And there will be more and more gray as each year passes -- knock wood -- and I'm still around.
I was never a girl. That's why I spend $16 for haircuts at SuperCuts. And I don't really care what it looks like. I don't bemoan bad haircuts. What's that?
I was never a girl. That's why God has seen fit to give me a daughter who plays with dolls and little toys excessively, who has plenty of make-up kits, who loves to paint her fingernails and toenails, who loves to dress up.
I love little girls. I was just never one.