Monday, December 3, 2007

Me and My Mom

Me as an Older Golfer
There is a Seinfeld episode which has Kramer down in Florida with Jerry's parents. I'm not sure of the premise, but he's there, and he begins to wear the Florida uniform. I am Kramer this week. I'm visiting my mom, who is recovering quite nicely from surgery, thank you.

Did you know that Florida is still rather hot and sweaty and icky even in early December? I had forgotten. So when packing for my six days here, I didn't pack shorts. And I didn't pack flip-flops. And I packed all of one T-shirt.

Thankfully, my mother and I are about the same size. (Truth be told, the damn woman has lost enough weight due to the hospital stay and the operation to now weigh less than me.) [No, kids, it wasn't a tummy tuck!] Anyway, I digress. With no appropriate clothes in my suitcase, I turn to my mother's closet.

Saturday, my outfit could best be described as golf-appropriate. Light blue shorts -- a color I never wear -- and a coordinating striped shirt with that same light blue, some yellow and black. The only part of the clothes that looked like what I normally wear was the black. But I'm happy to wear the outfit rather than wear a freakin' sweater, for God's sake.

I caught myself in the mirror. "What the hell is my mother doing looking back at me?" I think. Yes, she's got more gray than me. And, yes, she has a few more wrinkles than me. Other than that, we're the Bobbsey Twins. We go out about our day. Young men call me "Ma'am" and help me find the straw for my Big Gulp. They open doors for me everywhere except where we go for the early bird special for dinner that night. Cruising along in her golf cart around the complex, old folks wave at the two of us, and I wave back. I would so fit right in here.

[I'm kidding about the early bird special. That was added for dramatic purposes.]

[Photo courtesy Jupiter Images.]

14 comments:

Jeni said...

What indeed is it about seeing your parent looking back at you that really scares the living daylights out of us? Try this on though - a friend of mine mentioned to me after church one Sunday a few months back that every time she sees me, she sees my GRANDMOTHER. Now that is really frightening ya know! Loved this post and the "W-A-L-K" one below too. It's amazing how quickly kids learn to spell at least the words you try to hide from them by spelling and dogs -well, let's face it, they learn a lot of the same stuff almost as fast too, don't they?

Bren said...

This story had me smiling throughout. What, no early bird special? ;)

Jolene said...

Glad your mom is recovering nicely.

What were you thinking woman, bringing sweaters to Florida? Do you need sweaters in CA right now?

It must be nice being able to wear your mom's clothes in a pinch - I'd have to gain 60 lbs. to fit into my mom's. Although, I have to give her credit at 71, she still has decent taste. No elastic waist bands or polyester pants for her.

I wish I could say the same : )

winslow1204 said...

Florida is definitely still hot in December.. wish it wasn't, but at least its not muggy!

g said...

I'm jealous. I think it's a treat to be treated like one of "The Golden Girls." (pun intended) :D

Sian said...

I looked in a shop window and saw my mum behind me, I turned to look for her and realised it was my reflection. I changed my hairstyle, but I still look like my mum only with short hair.
Somethings we cannot escape :)

D... said...

I'm glad to hear that your mom is recovering nicely. Enjoy your time in Florida!

Toni said...

So glad your mom is recovering well; hope that continues. What an amusing post. I sometimes hear my mom when my mouth flies open but haven't seen her yet.

WorksForMom said...

Oh Patois, this is brilliant. The Florida visual in reference to the Seifeld's has me cackling!

Enjoy the sun!

Amy said...

hope your enjoying it here on the east coast! i would love to see pictures of you two side by side.

jenica said...

i think it's funny that you not only felt like you fit in there, but you brought SWEATERS to FLORIDA! only grandma's would do this. i think the perfect grandma sits in a house with the heat cranked up to 90 degrees, wearing a sweater and slippers, with a lap blanket. my mother is on her way to this ideal as she's convinced that my children will DIE of some awful disease because they don't wear socks in the house... and it's cold outside!

i heart you. and your golfing, retirement tendencies. sorry for being snarky!

Mayberry said...

Now you be careful with that golf cart! Obey speed limits!

...and remember you'll be back in the real world of black sweaters soon.

Gina said...

I become more like my mom every day, although not in the looks department.

Anonymous said...

Thats very funny because when I went out to LA last weekend, I brought t-shirts and shorts and flipflops, with just one pair of jeans and one little jacket which I wore all weekend because it rained and I was FREEZING the whole time. Go figure.
Lori

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