1. Do birds ever collide in mid-flight? I've never seen it. How come so many of them can weave in and out and around and never crash, and we humans are unable to stop from bumping into each other?
2. Youngest, who I though considered everything a drum, has finally arrived at the conclusion that one thing is not. "My butt's not a drum" he tells me as I'm drumming on his bottom. Perhaps it's just because he can't reach it to properly drum it himself.
3. I tell the daughter last night that I'm going to start giving her "snippy" cards. When she receives five, I take away a toy. This action is another feeble attempt on my part to stop her carping at her brother.
4. And then I tell the youngest that I'm going to start giving him "butthead" cards so he'll stop bugging her. Pete pipes in, "What? Are you going to draw a butt on a card?"
5. Much laughter ensues when I moon them all for effect.
6. It was at the Springsteen concert that we came up with another name for husband. "Purse rack."
7. I beat my mom in the blood pressure competition. Mine is 110/62. Hers is 130/73. We're a competitive family, to be sure.
8. That competitive nature was never more apparent than when we were playing team scrabble. My team used "ogive," which my sister had no choice but to challenge because, if we got the points, we would win. She didn't believe me when I said I knew for a fact it was a word. She challenged. We won. Heh heh heh.
9. In my family, we don't back down, either. Much to my mother's disgust, a new porn shop opened up down the highway from her hoity-toity community. I kept saying I was going to park her car -- with its LDY LOU personalized plate -- in front of it and take a picture. She said I wouldn't dare.
10. I don't think I can top that one, so I'll end with this: there's little worse than being seated behind a flatulent man on an airplane.