Thursday, February 14, 2008

List-maker, List-maker, Make me a List

Leaving on a Jet Plane
It's true. I am one of those people. I am a list maker. I have burned far too many brain cells to retain anything. If I need milk, butter and Fruit Gushers, and that's all I need at the grocery store, I will need to make a list. Otherwise, I will get to the grocery store and stare at the vastness before me and say, usually to myself but, frighteningly, sometimes aloud, "What the hell am I getting here?"

The kids and I are going to Florida to visit my mother. Let me repeat that. The kids and I are going to Florida to visit my mother. Again? Just the main subjects: kids and I. No Pete. He has to work. [In order to pay for us to go to Florida, I tell the kids.] If the thought of traveling alone with the Bickerers isn't enough to send chills down my spine, add the necessary preparations, accomplished solo, to the chills, and you're looking at ague. [Hey, I'm a crossword puzzle solver. I have to know that word. I do believe, however, that it's the first time I've used it outside of a crossword puzzle.]

If that's not enough, I also need to deal with three Valentine's Day parties today, including the one in Eldest's class, for which I'm the room parent. Being the over-achiever that I am, we're collecting coats and other wintery clothes for a charity here. I've also collected cash, which I'm going to spend at the Dollar Tree today on items requested by the charity: soap, shampoo, conditioner and diapers. I've got to get a bunch of boxes and have the kids sort the stuff for their party. Do I throw a good party or what?

I'm into full panic mode right now because I've only just started my list. I need more items on it, dammit! Only I can't remember exactly what I need to put on the list. You just know I'm going to end up in Florida sans underwear. [Can't wait to see what hits I get on that term. Although I'm thinking the people searching for naked folks don't really know what "sans" means.]

I'll try to post while we're in Florida. I know the two people reading this regularly want to follow all the dreary details of our flight (including a nearly three-hour layover in Dallas), Cape Canaveral (in a thunderstorm), Sea World (in a thunderstorm), and the kids and I hanging out at the heated pool at the posh seniors-only community where my mom lives. Unlike in December, though, there will be no photo ops of the porn shop down the road. [Sorry, Mom, couldn't resist repeating that one.]

Rides to Heaven on a Gyroscope

A couple of months ago, I saw a client I hadn't seen for a number of months. Like more than a dozen people have in the recent past, she ...