Whilst buying items at Target:
Me: I don't need a bag. I'll just put them in my purse.
Cashier: Are you sure?
Me: It's a great purse. Perfect for shoplifting. Who wants to bet I get stopped on my way out?
Whilst waiting to order my shrimp at the meat counter:
Me: Youngest, be good. A normal person is here.
Other man in line: That's a pretty big assumption on your part.
Me: I wasn't talking about you.
Whilst chatting with the principal and another parent about my first day without Diet Coke:
Me: It could be worse. Once, I gave up cursing.
Other parent: You?!
Me: Thankfully, in our church, you can give a dollar for every day you lapse. So I wrote a check for $40 and said, "Here's your f***in' money."
Just another day in the 'burbs.
[Why "whilst" and not "while"? Felt like acting British for awhilst.]
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