Friday, March 21, 2008

A Little Bit of Knowledge

All Bow to Cheeky Monkey
Surely, I can't be the only one with children enthralled with the whole Webkinz religion. First it was Daughter, and then Youngest became a convert. It's gotten so insidious that I'm thinking it’s time for me to investigate who is actually behind the whole concept. I fear for the minds of my little ones – and for little ones the world over.

Whenever Daughter achieves enough money to afford a Webkinz, she’s on my case to go to the store downtown that sells them. Wuss that I am, I take her there, and I let her spend an excruciatingly long time deciding between the love frog or the tie-dyed frog or the pony or the moose or the kitty or the who-the-hell-cares-just-pick-the-damn-thing. Then it’s another level of purgatory for me as she frets over what to name it.

The store we visit is having weekly drawings to win a free Webkinz. I signed up because I’m nothing if not an enabler. To sign up, I gave my email address so that I could receive pithy missives such as this one:

To all of our Webkinz customers,

We have just verified that we have 3 shipments of new Webkinz and clothing on the way. It has actually been shipped and hopefully will arrive by the middle of next week. Our orders come from the east coast and shipping time is approximately 7 days. Our orders left the warehouse on Tuesday, March 11th. We have a coupon appearing in the newspaper for 10% off of our regular priced merchandise and because of your patience, we will be honoring this on Webkinz merchandise also.

Have a great weekend!

The Webkinz Religion Store Staff

In sending the email out, they included everyone’s email addresses in the “to” line. As I’m already receiving enough spam to single-handedly feed an Hawaiian luau, I sent a note back as follows:

Would it be possible for you to not show all of our email addresses in the future? Thanks.

To which I received this:

Not sure how to do that, but I can remove you from the group list.

I took the time to explain the bcc function to the high priestess, but she has decided it’s beyond her capacity. She promises that I’ll remain eligible for the weekly drawing, but who really believes I stand a chance?

Isn’t it about time that we implemented some kind of test before we give someone access to the Internet?

Rides to Heaven on a Gyroscope

A couple of months ago, I saw a client I hadn't seen for a number of months. Like more than a dozen people have in the recent past, she ...