Saturday, March 1, 2008

The Weekly Wonderings #50

1. The best way to tell you’re old? You need your glasses in order to tweeze the inch-long hair in your nose.

2. Why do I think I look good for my age? I don’t ever have my glasses on when I look in the mirror. Except when I’m tweezing nose or chin hair.

3. A very nice gentleman who plays golf every week with my mother invited her to go on a cruise. She declined. Asking if she didn’t at least want to hear the details, she said she didn’t.

4. She said to me afterward, “I thought at 71 I wouldn’t have to turn men down anymore.”

5. Reason #5,142 why I miss my camera: Lady in curlers commuting to work.

6. It’s a bitch when you’re used to thinking of yourself as not a needy person – except when it comes to begging Pete to slay spiders and the like – and you realize that’s not really true.

7. My friend J., who is trying to shed nearly all her possessions except for her two girls and husband and move to New Zealand, is on a near-daily basis being asked to do things for me.

8. I guess the least I could do is take her youngest daughter’s two fish.

9. J. is down to one car, her Prius, which will sell in a nano-second. We’ve offered her the use of one of our two vehicles for the duration of her time here. (Oh, and while she schleps my kids around the next few days.)

10. I’m going to make her take the gas-guzzling Expedition. Hee hee hee.

Rides to Heaven on a Gyroscope

A couple of months ago, I saw a client I hadn't seen for a number of months. Like more than a dozen people have in the recent past, she ...