1. I’ve started a new way of life at home. I make a point of dealing with anything out of place immediately upon seeing it. It used to take me 4 seconds to get from my room to the kids’ rooms. Now it takes 24 minutes.
2. I’m hopeful that as my system becomes second nature that the time will shorten rather than lengthen.
3. Hell, the kids will move out long before that happens.
4. Playing a rousing game of “Would You Rather” with the kids, Eldest’s best friend and my sister at Chevy’s the other night, Eldest is asked if he’d rather marry K (the most reviled girl in fifth grade) or a toilet. “A toilet. And I’d have a urinal as a nice son.”
5. His sense of timing and his quick wit made it clear to both my sister and me that he’s blessed with our family’s brilliant sense of humor.
6. I drove up with the three kids and Eldest’s best friend to Reno on Tuesday to enjoy a few days at Boomtown and sledding. My sister flew up on Wednesday and we took her to SFO Friday night. She got to experience the “best” of the kids.
7. “Best” if you include the fart fest from Youngest Thursday night.
8. “Best” if you include being on the lookout for a very strange, out-of-sorts whack-job adult in the hotel’s fun center.
9. “Best” if you include the amputation and decapitation of one of the cheap fun center plush toys “won” by the kids.
10. “Best” if you include listening to near-constant bickering among my three kids, primarily caused by poor, much-maligned Youngest.