Monday, June 16, 2008

Adios, Amigas

I'm about to head out on a 35-day vacation with the brood. The husband will only have to put up with us for about 17 of those days. My mom will be overlapping with said spouse for a few days, and then she's stuck with us for close to the duration. Yes, kids, we're heading out. We're boarding a plane on Wednesday, landing in London on Thursday, travelling to the south coast to stay with Pete's sister for a few days, then ferrying over to France to reinforce the low opinions the French have of Americans, and then it's back to England for a few days, and then off to Wales to reinforce their low opinions of Americans. Yes, it's the badwill tour of select European spots.

The kids know the two basic tenets for traveling on an airplane nowadays: cooperation and coping. We're hoping for a better turn of travel events than our last big jaunt to England and Wales. Specifically, we're hoping a major plot to destroy U.S.-bound planes mid-air is not uncovered the day we are to travel. Let me rephrase that. If there is a major plot, here's hoping they uncover it before we're on the plane set to be blown up.

You might want to stay home while we're gone. It appears major terrorist actions happen when we're vacationing. For example, we were in Delaware for the events of 9/11 in 2001. [Is it necessary to cite the year?] And then, of course, the liquid-y plot was uncovered while we were in England. Yes, stay close to home because we're on the move.

On a lighter note, we intend to have a lot of fun, even though I'll be driving once Pete leaves for the States. You can trust that I'll get a little sign for the back saying, "Excuse me, but I'm an American tourist." Perhaps I'll say "Canadian" instead, so I'm not putting us in any danger of abduction or "finger-pointing," as it were.

I know the five of you regularly reading this blog will miss my daily missives. I'm anticipating that I'll have a hard time justifying blogging while we're on the road. Don't worry, though, I'm sure I'll be creating the same level of mediocre blog stories for my return. Hey, it's the least I can do for those of you who read this to enable yourselves to fall asleep.

Rides to Heaven on a Gyroscope

A couple of months ago, I saw a client I hadn't seen for a number of months. Like more than a dozen people have in the recent past, she ...