1. Hey, guess what? I don't like you enough to comply with these instructions:
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2. I don't like anyone enough to do that. Yeah, I know, I'm a bitch. I get that all the time.
3. Speaking of being bitchy, I got a call from one of the parents of a fifth grader at the younger kids' school. I'm the idiot in charge of fundraising for the grade. I'm the idiot who has had to deal with way too many people in organizing one of the fundraisers. The parent called me to tell me she didn't see her precious son's name on the list. "I sent you an email about it," she said. I told her I had a hard time believing I hadn't returned the email since I've responded to 60+ other people about it. "I know you're inundated with it, but I didn't want Precious to lose out," she said.
4. I set up the date for her kid over the phone. Then, obsessive twit that I am, I went through my emails. Yeah, I had replied back to her, and she'd not responded back. Could I let it go? Nope. I called her right back and told her I had replied back and I didn't want her to think "I was a flake."
5. She apologized and blamed her husband for deleting my response. I hung up, hoping she'd get the message that she was the flake. See? I'm a bitch, all right.
6. Youngest is so headed for jail if he keeps up his current habits.
7. Heck, I know the other kids and I would love to make a citizen's arrest.
8. Speaking of being in charge of fifth grade advertising, one woman signed up to help. I sent out a notice about a meeting being held Thursday morning. Didn't hear anything from her in advance that she wouldn't be there. Got this from her after the fact: So sorry I missed the meeting- I'm sure you all came up with plenty of great ideas. Anything I can do to help implement, just let me know.
9. So I sent her this: Any chance you might be willing to take on the Read-A-Thon? E. has currently been "volunteered" to do it, but I know she already has so much on her plate. I know your daughter is a big reader. The short description: kids would be sponsored to read a certain number of pages over a six-week period. They'd get people they know to sponsor them. All monies raised would offset the amount the individual fifth grade student would pay for the outdoor education program. What do you think? (I am putting together the notes of the meeting and will include you on the initial distribution note, but since you asked, this would certainly be something right up your alley.)
10. And how does she respond? With: I would be happy to 'co' with someone, but I'd rather not take on full responsibility. Do you have a start date in mind? Is this something that has been done in previous years? So, in other words, you just want to pat yourself on the back for offering to do something, then not show up to the meeting or indicate you won't be showing up, and then not actually want to take it on. Yeah, we could use more of your kind at the kids' school. Whoo-hoo to you!