Daughter lost her bid for president of the student council in her elementary school. I talked about what happened on election day. I didn't know then that it would get worse.
Ten students, all fifth graders, ran for president. Three boys and seven girls were the candidates. Elementary school being elementary school, it's no surprise that a boy won. He's a good kid. I like him. I like his parents. I'm glad for him. But kids that age vote along gender lines, so I had warned Daughter that it was unlikely a girl would win.
Today, at recess, one of the other girl candidates told the girl candidate who is Daughter's "friend" that Daughter received only four votes. That would be four votes out of a possible 260. She said she knew because her mother had counted the votes and had told her. We will call this girl Ass Hole. We will call this girl The Loser.
It spread like wildfire, as rumors often do, with the girl Ass Hole told telling another "friend" of Daughter's. The two then told two other people. And then another person. And then another person, the boy "friend" of Daughter. He told Daughter. And Daughter cried. And she cried even more when all these "friends" who were surrounding her, anticipating her reaction, admitted to not voting for her. Not the boy. He voted for her. But those others, eager to see how sad Daughter would be to hear she only got four votes, had not.
It is a lie, of course. Although I don't know who counted the votes, the school's policy has always been that no parents who have children running for office are allowed to tally the votes. So I have to believe that Ass Hole's mother did not count them.
What's in it for Ass Hole? I'm not lying when I say Daughter is about the sweetest kid you could find. She has never had a run-in with Ass Hole. I can't even recall them being in the same class. They do not have a bad relationship. They have no relationship. Until now.
I discovered this all while picking up Daughter at school. I took her with me and tracked down the principal. Daughter explained what happened. The principal was angry. She coached Daughter on what to say when she confronted Ass Hole. She offered to have Daughter come to her Monday morning to practice what she would say.
Daughter doesn't get that the rumor has probably been repeated to most everyone in fifth grade, and likely to those in other grades. I'm not telling her that. Daughter is an innocent. Daughter is different in that she doesn't get many societal relationship bullshit. She is nice to everyone. She tells the truth. She does not pass on rumors. She expects others do the same.
So she's recovered fully, really. In this case, perhaps ignorance really is bliss. Because this knowledge I have about all this? It's ugly and it's painful and it's nearly unbearable.
I talked to the "friend" Ass Hole talked to. I talked to the "friend" that it was repeated to. I talked to the boy "friend". I also spoke to each of their parents. What I've described is pretty much the story these kids are sticking to. I have not spoken to Ass Hole. I have not spoken to Ass Hole's mother. This is the email I sent the principal earlier this evening:
I'd like to talk with you about this as soon as possible on Monday. (Hell, I'll talk over the phone about it if you want to call over the weekend.) I cannot tell you how distressed I am about this. I can't even articulate it. My inclination is to call Ass Hole's Mother right freakin' now. But, instead, I'm going to breathe in and out and in and out and in and out.
All right. I took three breaths. That girl has got to be disciplined mightily. I know of at least eight kids who "know" this. I suspect there are far more than that. This is a poor loser of a kid who for some inexplicable reason needs to make my daughter feel like a loser. And I want blood.
But I'm going to wait to talk to you. I promise.
So, yeah, I will wait. Until Monday morning. And then I want major league satisfaction. I'm not talking about some lame-ass apology from Ass Hole. Big f$#kin' deal. [Yeah, I curse. A lot. Sue me.] I want this rectified. I want the principal to talk about it to the entire grade, if not the school. She doesn't have to name names.
This is fifth grade, people. Fifth grade. Ass Hole is a loser who thinks she can make herself look better by making other people look bad. That's what I told Daughter. I also told Daughter we need to find her some different people to hang out with. Friends don't pull this shit. Not in fifth grade.