Friday, November 21, 2008

A Displeasure to Meet You

Has this ever happened to you? You meet someone for the very first time, and you find yourself taking an immediate dislike to her? Yeah, me, too. Just the other night.

And it's not as if she did anything to offend me. She wasn't wearing a "Yes on Prop 8" shirt. There were no food particles sticking to an ill-bleached mustache. She didn't have a weak handshake nor any obvious slickness on her palm when shaking my hand. She didn't sneer at me or roll her eyes at my own handshake or mustache.

But I didn't like her. At. All. At. Once.

She doesn't look just like my mother. (Whom, by the by, I happen to adore.) She doesn't look like my father. (Whom my husband says looks like a member of the Taliban.) She doesn't resemble, say, Sissy Spacek in Carrie or Angelina Jolie. She didn't spit when she spoke. She didn't burp (out loud) or fart (neither deadly nor loudly).

But, meh, she's not my type. And I had a hard time looking her in the eye and talking to her because my brain just kept saying, "Ewwwww" as if I were looking at the decapitated, poked-clean-through lizard the lads had had their way with the other day.

And the worst part of it? I'm stuck dealing with her for pretty much the rest of the school year. I am, therefore, open to any and all suggestions on how to turn this around. Who knows? Maybe she can be my new best friend. Too lofty of a goal, eh? How about I work toward being able to not think about how much I don't like her? Maybe there's a patch for that.

9 comments:

Tara R. said...

That's happened to me a few times. I would try to limit spending time with her to the bare minimum. Maybe after a while you'll be able to figure out what it is about her you dislike so much. Good luck.

Janet said...

This happens to me constantly. I have the Queen enrolled in gymnastics and dance classes, both of which throw me together with the parents of her classmates, most of whom I would not normally ever meet. I prefer to pick my own friends, and I don't like the assumption that just because our kids are friends (if they even are) in class, then we all have to be friends too. I try to be nice and friendly and try to avoid anything like arranging playdates. Playdates would mean having to keep my house far cleaner than I have time or energy for.

cjh said...

I'd also try to pinpoint why you don't like her. And it helps to remember that we're all human. I know this sounds terrible but if you imagine that she has something dreadful that she's dealing with (like cancer or someone dying or divorce or anything) then you can show a little more kindness. Maybe. Or not. :o)

This Eclectic Life said...

Oh, goodness. I've had that happen. I agree with Tara that you should limit the time you spend with her. Life is too short. You may find out that in time she "grows" on you. Then again, maybe not. It's never happened that way with me. If I don't like someone at the outset, I usually don't get over it. Sometimes our intuition is smarter than we are!

While you deal with her, try to consider some redeeming qualities she might have. Or else, just put yourself in a "happy place" and think about Rocky Road Ice Cream.

Kelly O said...

Fake it til you make it, man.

That happens to me sometimes, too. It's like an allergic reaction.

Sian said...

I rarely take instant dislikes to people and the times that I have done so I have almost always got them wrong and they turn out to be lovely people. So I am no help here.

Likewise, the last time I took an instant liking to someone was absolutely disastrous. He is in prison now, poor lamb.

Bubba's Sis said...

YES! This happened to me just recently - with a woman Hubby works with! I knew within 5 minutes of meeting her that I didn't like her. An evening spent in her company proved me right. I'm with Kelly O - fake it til you make it. Sometimes when I get home my cheeks are sore from forcing a smile all evening. But gosh darnit, people like me!

Oh gosh, it just occured to me that maybe some people don't like ME when they first meet me! Gasp!

D... said...

Yeah, that has happened to me. With a coworker who everyone else just adored. Eh. Really? Whatever. I just smiled and faked it.

AscenderRisesAbove said...

well - of course i had to read these comments to see what others suggest. obviously a red flag warning; it is helpful to know who she reminds you of so that you can not repeat a pattern... at least in my thinking.

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