Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Weekly Wonderings #102

1. I love dogs. I'm a dog owner. I've been a dog person my whole life. But I have to ask you this: What possesses owners of rat dogs to think said rat dogs can be carted around everywhere dogs are not allowed?

2. No dogs allowed on school grounds. That's what the signs say. They don't give a height/weight exemption. No dogs. But there you go, bringing your dogs on campus, into offices or classrooms or the big multi-purpose room. Because you think it's a rat and not a dog?

3. Just wondering.

4. I've started selling stuff on eBay. It's a good thing, too, because Goodwill has stopped accepting toys or stuffed animals as donations. Those items describe the bulk of the crap in my house.

5. I am selling a Barry Bonds memorabilia item. A cheater emailed me and said he'd give me double the asking price if we could make the sale "offline" and immediately.

6. I emailed him back a message which said, "I appreciate the offer, but I think that would be kind of like using steroids, you know? Not exactly fair."

7. Guess he won't be bidding on it, eh?

8. Do you know what steroids purportedly do to, ahem, private parts? Shrink them. Shrivel them up, as it were.

9. Speaking of shriveled up private parts, do you know that my non-vegan dog gnaws on Bully Sticks several times a week? I never knew exactly what they were. All it says on the label in big bold letters is that it comes from free-range cattle.

10. The ingredients list? One item. Steer pizzle. Never heard it called a pizzle. We've just added a brand new word to my 12-year-old son's vocabulary. Here's hoping the middle school powers-that-be don't know a pizzle from a puzzle. (Except maybe their own.)

6 comments:

josie2shoes said...

The variety of topics covered by your witty commentary is so delightful, I always find myself smiling by the end of your posts... thanks for the daybrighteners, Patty! Steer pizzle, yup - that's a new one! :-)

Caloden said...

Our dogs love those bully sticks. I always want to put on a glove before touching them. Ew.

Tara R. said...

I can't stand those little rat dogs. Here in tourista-ville they are everywhere. The powers that be even let them in restaurants (outdoor sitting only) but it's still annoying.

Florinda said...

"Pizzle" of any kind is a new one to me.

I'm with you on the rat dogs - and small dogs of any kind. Yesterday, I saw someone in Target with TWO dogs in her tote bag. Most places have good reason for banning any dogs except assistance dogs - and the rules apply to everyone, not the proverbial "other people."

Maggie May said...

Bully Sticks? Never heard of em. Hmmm.

D... said...

At the baseball field Saturday, a girl had her rat dog stuffed in her hoodie pocket. She passed the big sign "NO DOGS ALLOWED PAST THIS POINT" as she walked in. I've learned a lot of people have huge entitlement issues.

I absolutely adored your response to the eBay cheater.

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