We've established that I'm not a particularly nice person, yeah? It's not that I don't do a lot for others: the school, the classrooms, my church, the PTA, relatives and [former] friends in need of money, blah, blah, blah. I'm just unable to control my snarkiness while I do these things.
So, sure, I'll take on the fifth grade fundraising, but I'll ridicule the idiots who reply to all, who say they'll help just to make it look like they're helping but then not show up, who do nothing but expect me to set aside something they want because they want it, or who can't make change or make popcorn or make their kid at least pretend to be helping.
Or, yeah, happy to count the money at the church with the really, really, really old guy -- God bless him, a WWII vet who saw loads of action in the Pacific arena and who cares for a wife slowly and painfully dying of emphysema -- who can't count and can't use an adding machine and can't shut the hell up so we can get this done.
That's me. I'm a bitch. I'm the first to admit it. [Okay, maybe Pete would be the first to admit it, but that's another story.] It's my calling card. It's why I can say -- and people will understand -- that I can't be a PTA officer because I don't like people and I have no filter, no self-censorship when surrounded by morons.
I went out and bought a dog whistle today. You know, one of those that makes a sound too high-pitched for us to hear but a perfect one for driving a dog to distraction. I'm taking it to school each day for the remainder of the year. I'm so bloody tired of the people bringing their dogs onto school grounds when they're told not to.
Don't get me wrong. I take my dog onto the high school grounds every single day. And sometimes twice a day. But only on a never-used field. And never around students.
These people I'm talking about? Right onto school property. Right onto the sidewalks. Right into the hallways. Right into the multi-purpose room. Right into the classrooms. WTF?
They've been told to stop too many times to count via mass emails via individual emails from the principal via personal conversations with the principal and via me saying, "Hey, what the hell are you doing with a dog here? Do you think the "No Dogs" policy doesn't apply to you?" [Yeah, seriously, I've said that to two different people. And, no, the "No Cursing" policy doesn't freakin' apply to me.]
And yet they keep on coming. So, starting tomorrow, I am armed and dangerous. Woof woof.