Friday, July 3, 2009

The Mysterious Stranger

Confidentiality agreements, be damned!

I signed up to be a mystery shopper recently. I am apparently much in demand. I registered two weeks ago, and I've already completed two shops, and I've got five scheduled over the next week. I could have done quite a few more, but I am selective.

Hardly. Selective, that is.

I'm just lazy and not willing to travel out of my quaint little area across a bridge (or two) and over some mountains just to assess some gas station. Sorry. Petroleum outlet.

Oh, and I'm not stupid. I realize being paid $12 to do a shop 35 miles away hardly pays for itself. Unless the petroleum outlet were to give me a full tank of gas.

With the kids out of school, I'm not encountering the number of nuts I usually do, so I thought I'd feed my insanity quota by finding them this way. You know, I need the blodder, yeah?

I won't go into details. Hell, I'm already being sued by one huge corporation. Why add another to the list? [And, no, I've not talked about that before. Soon, though. Soon.]

Let me just say that I did a shop at a grocery store yesterday. It was as if the employees knew they were being mystery shopped and so they all went out of their way to be caught doing all the wrong things. I think they all want to be fired. I know after my experience yesterday, I believe they should be.

I'll just tell you one little itty bitty part. I bought one of those hot-off-the-rotisserie chickens. I brought it all the way home. Pete started to cut it up. It was undercooked. Raw. Horribly, horribly raw. My eyes! They're burning! The chicken, alas, was not.

I had to gather it all back up, throw it back into the container, drive all the way back to the store and return the chicken. The employee didn't believe me. Didn't believe me to the point that he started opening up the chicken to check. Until I said, "You need to look?" Then he caught himself and gave me my freakin' money back.

And we ate tofu instead.

Actually, I bought some ham and we had ham and cheese sandwiches. I'd like to report that none of us got sick.



Giggles said...

Gross raw chicken!!! I have many friends in retail management. In their defense hours have been cut beyond what is feasible to do a proper job. Finding diligent ethical employees also difficult considering the wages. Our Canadian retail branches of American chain stores are having to compensate for the down turn in the economy. The only solution is to cut the hours and push staff beyond capacity.... I am speaking of highly ethical hard working people here!! Mystery shoppers are their nemesis, considering the duress they are under! Companies have unreasonable expectations for nonsensical things, while the important things fall by the cooked chicken!! Just sayin......
Have fun with the new job!!

Tina - omme i London said...

Crumbs - that mystery shopping malarchy does not sound entirely healthy!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Holy crap. The whole thing was raw?!? That reminds me of the time my friend and her husband went to Cracker Barrel for dinner and both ordered the chicken/broccoli/cheese dish. They both ate a few bites and kept thinking, "This tastes off." Yeah. That's because it was RAW!!!!

I just don't get it.

And have fun with your mystery shoppin'!

Maureen Fitzgerald said...

Seriously? Ew!!

And how did you find a mystery shopping gig? I thought they were all hoaxes!

Jocelyn said...

I'm pacing around over here, waiting for the story of being sued by a major corporation.

For me, the happy ending part of this post was that you didn't actually eat tofu.

I swear, I have oodles of friends who swear they can make tofu in the one way where it's actually good; then they make it for me, and it still sucks.

D... said...

You are being sued? Oh my. Can't wait for you to be able to write about it.

Chicken scares me. I have never mastered the art of cooking it. And you buying a raw one really skeeves me out.

I would like to be a mystery shopper.

susiej said...

Sued? The nerve. I'm pacing too, waiting to hear...


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