Monday, August 24, 2009

Sore Point

So, yeah, I've had the cold sore from hell. So much for "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

I am prone to them, although the frequency of outbreaks is far less than it was just a few years ago. Whatever was the base cause of them before -- can you say "work stress"? -- is gone.

You have to keep your sense of humor when these things take over your face. Along that vein, I offer you up new sayings:

Original: As plain as the nose on her face.
Revamped: As plain as the sore on Patty's lip.

Original: It's the elephant in the room.
Revamped: It's the cold sore on Patty's lip.

Original: He cannot see the forest for the trees.
Revamped: He cannot see Patty's face for the cold sore.

Original: If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Revamped: Is that a cold sore or do you have two heads?

Okay, guys, you can do better than that last one, right? Help me out here. And, no, I won't be displaying any photos of the sore in question. I was going to, believe it or not, but then I realized how hairy my lip is. And how many nose hairs I have. And how wrinkled I am. Use your imagination as to what I look like. You can't possibly exaggerate it.

P.S. Make sure you wish me happy birthday.

P.P.S. Thanks, Joanne, for revamped #3!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy Birfday to You! Happy Birfday to you! Happy Birfday dear Patty (with a y!), Happy Birfday to you!

August 25, 79 AD Mount Vesuvius erupts. Years later, on that same day, Patty is born. Coincidence? I think not...

Gina said...

Happy, happy Birthday!

Wifey said...

Happy Birthday to you ... and your cold sore! LOL! Just kidding! Really, have a fabulous day.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Jocelyn said...

Does "Happy Birthday, You Cold Sore Whore" hit the right note?

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Is that a 200-pound gorilla? Or your cold sore? :)

D... said...

I hope it's gone by now!!

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