Thursday, September 10, 2009

Yeah, Yeah, I Know. I'm Pathetic.


I'm taking a red-eye to Boston tonight. Yeah, I'll be flying across the country as the calendar turns from 9-10 to 9-11. Tell me that fact doesn't give you the slightest bit of pause.

Pause.

It doesn't matter to me what the date is, really, which is why I jumped on the chance to get such a dirt cheap fare by flying then. Why doesn't it matter? Because whenever I leave the kids, I work myself into such a tizzy, convinced calamity will befall them in my absence. I don't focus on the calamity being their mother plunging to her death from 33,000 feet, although I consider that one of the possibilities.

So I become all maudlin and panicky and sodamnannoyingthatPetehastosay, "JUST DON'T GO, THEN!"

But I go anyway. I went on the cruise with my mother and sister. I went to stay at my mom's whilst she recuperated from surgery. I went to my aunt's 70th. I went to be with Aunt Margaret when Uncle Ken died. Save for that last one, I went without Pete. It is easier this time around because I don't have to imagine my children orphaned.

No, I get to imagine them all dying in a fiery auto accident on their way to a soccer game. Or being the victims of a band of marauding home invaders who first get the father out of the way and then do unspeakable horrors to...

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm pathetic.

[But would you mind keeping good thoughts in your head about my family, in the very capable hands of my husband, whilst I'm away? Thank you.]

9 comments:

D... said...

Why do husbands have to say stuff like that? I know mine certainly does.

I will absolutely do that for you. I know you'll return home safe & sound to a safe & sound family.

Safe travels!

cjm said...

I'm leaving for California tomorrow. 9/11 still gives me pause, too. Good luck on your trip in the opposite direction!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I just imagine that after my untimely demise, they'll all be dancing with glee and basking in the glow of Krispy Kreme doughnuts chanting "The witch is dead! Let's eat sugar!"

mayberry said...

Thinking ... thinking ... will do. Last time I went away I told the kids to remind their dad to make them take baths. I'm pretty sure no water touched their skin for five days.

angie said...

I always freak out a little when I fly without my kids, too. Have a great time!

Jomama said...

I have the opposite fear--I worry that my kids will lose their mama, so I am always relieved when I arrive home safe.

chichimama said...

Thinking many safe thoughts for you. Have a great time!

And I am equally pathetic.

Michele Renee said...

I'm the same way. I still go places on planes but I imagine the worst things.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Not pathetic, completely normal.

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