Friday, October 16, 2009

More Unjustifed Outrage Coming to a Blog Near You

Very near to you, actually, as I'm talking about this one you're reading right now.

After yesterday's post angered someone who happened upon my blog because she set a Google alert for Twilight -- crap, that won't bring her back, will it? Pass me a silver bullet or wooden stake, will ya? -- I spent the day wondering who I could annoy next with a pot shot here and a pot shot there.

Truthfully, I spent zero time because, firstly, I clearly don't spend any time thinking of posts nor writing them and, b, I had thought of this Wednesday night and, in conclusion, it underscores what losers I'm raising because of my poor parenting.

In addition to being forced to read the Guinness Book of World Records, my kids are also forced to discuss their lives every night at dinner. [Yeah, I know, how horrible am I?] Daughter mentions that the middle school's planner shows Zac Efron's birthday but doesn't show Kelly Clarkson's birthday in April.

"That stinks!" she says.

The conversation with her and Eldest and me centers around my outrage -- there's that damn word again -- over the fact that celebrity birthdays are noted.

"Couldn't they tell you when George Washington was born?" I bemoan.

"February 12!" the seven-year-old wunderkind shouts.

"Or Abraham Lincoln?" I go on.

"February 22!" wunderkind shouts.

"Or Galileo or even George W. Effin' Bush?" I plead, screeching by this point.

Both middle schoolers roll their eyes and turn to page 342 in the Guinness book. To commiserate, I pop open a Guinness and join them.

[Photo courtesy of the You get it, yeah? World's biggest dog meets world's smallest dog? I didn't have to spell it out for you, did I? See. Spot. Run.]


mayberry said...

I can't believe you would post that picture! That poor little doggie is clearly in grave danger! One single drop of drool from the big one and the little one is going to DROWN!!1!

Tara R. said...

You are such a renegade! Getting teachers all hating on you 'cause you dissed Twilight? That is scary on so many of levels. Keep the outrage coming!

amylou1977 said...

I just want to say that I love your blog posts, this is part of what i do to relieve my stresses of the day is to curl up on the bed with my laptop to read the blogs i follow and i look forward to this one alot..then i put the laptop out and pull out a book, which interestinly enough a few weeks ago was twilight and sookie stackhouse novels( true blood from HBO) then the house of night series, now I am reading book 4 of harry potter in series i only have the 5th to go here at the house my sons friend gave me 1-5.... I guess i like tween and teen sagas involving supernatural such and vampires and witches your blog

tiff said...

Love this...and so glad that you popped open that Guiness...giggle ;) That would be the only way to get through that book...We listened to all kinds of facts from this book on our way home from the movies...{insert mama rollin' her eyes here...smiles}

BTW...LOVED...LOVED Where the Wild Things ARE! WE just got back! I am a huge Maurice Sendak fan and thought that Spike Jonze did a fabulous job making the movie so fantastic!

Stillie said...

Mmm...alcohol you can eat with a fork!

Sian said...

Guiness and a square of really good as in 70 percent dark chocolate is heaven.

Try your kids with the Horrible Histories/Science. Way cooler than the G Book.

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