In an unprecedented move for the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI has skipped the logical steps to beatification and has named Sir Barack Obama, current President of the United States, a saint.
"Hell, it was only a matter of time before I would take these steps," the Pontiff said. "First the Nobel Prize committee awarded him the Nobel Peace Prize, then Lizzie [Queen Elizabeth II] gave him the knighthood. What was I to do? I didn't want to be the last one to break all the rules and norms. Besides, what's another saint when we're talking the Second Coming?"
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When Pete just opened up his laptop and told me Obama had been given the Nobel Peace Prize, I was stunned. He had to be joking. I mean Obama gets it for campaigning, right? I mean, what else, exactly, did he do through February 1 of this year? Is that how effed-up the world is that we can't find any real peacemakers out there?
[Photo courtesy TheHoot.net.]