1. We're talking black widow spiders around the table when friends are over. The menfolk allow how they'd not want to mate with such partner-eating creatures.
2. What are the males called? "Brown gentlemen," Haley pipes in with.
3. BlogHer is surveying its members about a new tagline. I'm rather proud of my own suggestion: Women from Type A to Z.
4. All right, copy writing was always a bit twisted for me.
5. Of course, now I think of a WAY better one: Women from Alpha to Zoot.
6. Okay, so maybe it's not much better.
7. Speaking of women -- since we're the ones most apt to volunteer at kids' schools -- let me bitch -- since we're also the ones who do so very well -- for a moment about my fellow parents at party time.
8. If you say you're going to help with the Halloween party in your second grader's class, don't just show up and EAT your weight's worth through the pumpkin pancakes, ghost-shaped blueberry pancakes, yogurt with dirt and worms, and gelatin blob jigglers. Put down your fork and help.
9. When you come to pick up your sixth grader after a party put on by all of about a dozen parents (out of a pool of 196 families -- including yours), don't just come in, grab some candy from the dish and take your shithead kid home. Pick up some trash. Take down some decorations. Push a broom.
10. Or, I swear to God, I'm gonna put that broom up your tailpipe.
[Photo courtesy UC.edu.]