Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Be as Impatient With Me When I'm That Old

I'm already old. But I'm not THAT old. What is "THAT" old?

  • THAT old is someone who puts in a bunch of hard returns rather than a hard page break to start a new page.
  • THAT old is someone who talks about the "sex" of survey respondents rather than their "gender". [And, having been the director of a research center where we conducted 8,000 40-minute telephone interviews about sex with people across the U.S., I know what we're talking about when we're talking about respondents' sex.]
  • THAT old is someone whose thumbs have lost all sensation making it impossible for them to separate the bills from one another or the checks from one another when they're *helping* an impatient bitch such as me count the frickin' weekly take at the church.
  • THAT old is someone who, when hearing his cell phone ring in his pocket, hands it to the impatient bitch and says, "I don't know how to answer this." [Hello? How about, "Hello?"]
  • THAT old is someone who can't remember what it's like to be 6 and want to play the entire recess rather than give up precious moments getting a drink of water or using the bathroom.
  • THAT old is someone who has yet to learn how to do a hyperlink.
Do you get the sense I'm just a tad stressed and that what teeny-weeny patience I might normally have with people THAT old has dissipated?

Oh, so it's THAT.


Not Afraid To Use It said...

Oj. And I thought I had it bad the past few days. I hear ya on all counts.

Janet said...

Snort - I always forget about page break. But it's been so long since I typed a real document that I probably don't remember how to type.


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