Thursday, February 18, 2010

But I Think I'm a Dumb Cow

Believe it or not, I try to keep my swearing down to a minimum whilst the youngest of the children are around or if I'm in, you know, church or someplace like that. In situations like that, I will often refer to someone as a "Stupid Cow" or a "Dumb Cow." "Cow" is my replacement word for "Bitch." [Don't worry, I have a replacement word for "Dick." It's "Dipwad." I understand calling a guy a "cow" is just flat-out crazy talk.]

Uninsured dumb cow that I am, I've been looking at Craigslist of late.

[FLASHBACK TO RELATE: Around 1995, Craig Newmark approached the San Francisco Newspaper Agency, the joint operating business entity that supported the privately owned San Francisco Chronicle and the Hearst-owned San Francisco Examiner. He was looking to partner with the newspaper and the just-getting-up-and-running He had this idea, see.

And the director of classified advertising pooh-poohed ever considering such a thing. Do you know why? Because, surely, she said, the Internet and the World Wide Web was merely a fad. It would soon go the way of CB radio. Does that just crack you up? Particularly as newspapers go the way of CB radio?]

So, yeah, Craiglist. The ad? They are looking for a cow. Some highlights are warranted, yeah?

We are seeking an enthusiastic, patient and caring individual to represent the Company in costume as “Clo”, our mascot for Clover Stornetta Farms.

If you are claustrophobic, this would not be a good fit for you.

Does that make your day?
And, no, I'm thinking I'll take a pass at it. The world doesn't need another Cow Patty.


tiff said...

Awe to actually be a COW and get paid for it...sweet!
hey thanks for the ed. lesson...i did not know the background of where Craigslist began...that is oh so interesting.

cjm said...

Hello, that is awesome. :)

Also, I love Craigslist. It was such a good idea.

CrAzY Working Mom said...

heh heh heh...good one!

I have used the word DipWad as well...unfortunately my 4yo son thought I was saying THE bad word and repeated it later when talking to his sister. So, I cannot use this word as it sounds too much like the original. Heh heh heh

Tara R. said...

Cow Patty... now that's funny!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

The local Chick-Fil-A (chicken sandwich fast-food heaven here in the South) has a cow out front everyday. And by "cow" I mean "minimum wage teenager who is hating his life because his buddies are driving by laughing at his cow-clad ass."

mayberry said...

Cow Patty! bwahahaha


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