Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Top Ten Reasons to go Get a Job

10. I can justify hiring a cleaning service.

9. Fewer parents at the kids' schools will hate me because I'm always yelling at their misbehaving shitty kids.

8. I will hate fewer parents at the school because I won't know in such detail all the shit they're pulling.

7. I can afford to send the kids to private school if the school district "leaders" keep acting like dumb f#$ks.

6. I'll have a built-in excuse as to why I can't volunteer to count money at the church every Monday.

5. My neighbor, Crazy Ed, will have to share his conspiracy theories with the retired folks nearby.

4. Fewer neighborhood kids will pop in to play at our pool. Or at least fewer will survive as no one will be keeping a paranoid eye on them.

3. My own kids will be able to experiment earlier with drugs without me noticing as quickly.

2. Pete will take on all of the cooking again.

1. We'll all have health care coverage that doesn't require one of us to sell a kidney to pay for it.


Mike Minzes said...

Search for the perfect list, I think I have found it! :)

mayberry said...

You make a very convincing case! I especially like #4.

Magpie said...

i wonder if i could send this post to my husband...

Lori said...

sounds like a no-brainer. Well, at least the one about Pete cooking again. That alone would do it for me. Too bad my husband doesn't have a clue how to cook. Too bad I don't either. Mostly, too bad for my kids.


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