Saturday, October 2, 2010

Caution: Idiocy Knows No Bounds

It was the family dinner at the elementary school last night. After doing my one-hour shift of registering folks -- and explaining far too many times that, as the sign above me indicated, I could register those with the last names beginning with A-I so, no, Mrs.Smith and, no, Dr. Kirkland, I can't help you here -- I got to "enjoy" the festivities with Youngest and Pete. ["Family" dinner in these circumstances include younger siblings but self-esteem would not allow either middle schooler of mine to come along.]


As is usually the case, I spent a fair amount of time correcting other people's children. [Hey, it's a party, do I also have to make sure my kid isn't being a dick or in danger of hurting herself or others? Apparently not. Because this village idiot will tell your kid to quit hanging from the basketball net because you're going to break it or to not ride the bicycle on the off-limits playground.]
By 7:15, I was done. Done. I was chatting with a very funny parent and then another friend came and we sat on the outskirts of the cordoned-off playground. That's when the father arrived with his 18-month old daughter. We watched as he helped her make her way through various yellow CAUTION tape in order to get to one of the slides and then stretched apart more yellow CAUTION tape to put her on the lower part of the slide, helping her slide down the bottom two or three feet.


I was tired of being the one chastising people. "Do I really have to do this?" I asked.


The very funny mom said she'd do it, she'd tell him.


And she did, telling him that the playground was closed and we didn't want kids on it and if they saw them on it, they'd all want to play on it.


He acted as if he didn't know it was closed and played the dipweed. She came back and said to the two of us, "What an asshole."


That's when another woman, a very nice woman really, came over and said, "Is it my husband who's being the asshole?"


Can you say "awkward?" But can you also say "hi-freakin'-larious?"


Hahahahahaha. And hahahahahaha again.




*My last post talked about the district closing off all the playgrounds at all of the elementary schools. They've got a board meeting on Tuesday to talk with the designer and manufacturer so they can explain why, on their purportedly very safe and state-of-the-art playgrounds which cost the district a cool $1.5 million, six kids have broken their arms. All of last year? Eight kids did. You want another math fact? Only half of the schools' playgrounds were complete, including ours which just opened Monday.

6 comments:

Tara R. said...

Bwahahaha! I hope she said 'hellz yeah!' I've always wondered if rules/law only apply to people who can read.

Yellow tape, like yellow traffic lights, must not mean caution, but 'hurry up before you get caught.'

Michele R said...

I always seem to feel relieved that I have the kids I have after observing other kids in social situations, or at school events, or in school.

Patois said...

Michele,

And relieved to have the husband you have, too, yes? Me, too.

Patois said...

Tara, the funny woman I was with did say that, yes, she was talking about him but didn't mean to offend.

Hahahahaha!

Jomama said...

So, to the woman who was in earshot, I guess you could imagine she thought to herself, "Hey, it's a party, do I also have to make sure my HUSBAND isn't being a dick or in danger of hurting herself or others? Apparently not..."

Supervising doesn't just stop with the kids, does it?

Mrs4444 said...

That's really funny. We have a lot in common; I find it impossible to keep my mouth shut when it comes to other peoples kids behaving badly. Other adults; I've sometimes had the balls to confront that, too, but not usually strangers.

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