Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Death of Children

I didn't know these kids. The known degrees of separation between them and mine are few, but I didn't know them. My kids don't know them.


The girl was 15 and in high school. The boy was 13 and in middle school. They knew each other, the girl being a friend of the boy's older brother, but they weren't friends.


Maybe 10, 12 years from now, the two of them would have ended up getting together, maybe marrying and having kids and living happily ever after.


Maybe. Instead, on the heels of her committing suicide, he did the same, hanging himself Sunday night or early Monday morning from a tree on the path to his middle school. Another student found him.


Hearing about the 15-year-old girl's suicide was shocking enough, but learning of the 8th grade boy's suicide Monday was more so. Daughter's BFF goes to that school, rides her bike along that path each morning, earlier than most because she likes to get to school early. She was home sick on Monday. Thankfully.


Her aunt was sick at her own home, too, thankfully as well because she has fewer degrees of separation and managed to take a part in stopping two other middle schoolers from keeping up with their suicide pact with the boy.


When Joanne told me about the suicide, I said I was going to just tell the kids God doesn't exist. Do something that ends your life and you are nothing. There will be no glory. You will not know how your actions cause such despair. You will not get any gratification by seeing how much you are missed. You will be dirt. You will be nothing.


But Daughter's BFF didn't have to find that boy, hanging from a tree. And her aunt wasn't at work so she could help save two other lives. And my kids are safe and sound, just rousing themselves for another day.


Amen.

3 comments:

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Absolutely chilling.

We had a suicide in town and there was talk of dedicating the yearbook in his memory. One mom I know went bananas, saying stuff like this just reinforces the whole "live on in infamy" thing and almost glamorizes suicide to young kids who just want the pain of youth to end.

Very scary.

Jeni said...

Suicide is such a terrible thing to have to deal with. The family is devastated by the action and the community as well is stunned and shocked by an event like this too. Almost 35 years ago, my neighbor's son -then 28 years old -committed suicide and I know how deeply his family was affected by his actions. A cousin of mine also shot and killed himself 6 years after this happened and though we (the family) had some idea as to what caused him to take that step, the effect it had on our surviving uncle at that time was horrendous. He blamed himself because he was sure, had he known of the problems my cousin was experiencing at the time, he could have helped him and stopped this act. A sister of my cousin asked me one time if I thought our uncle could forgive her brother and my thought, my response was that he was unable to forgive himself. The pain from a loss by suicide is such that it is much more difficult for family and friends to recover from the action. But two suicides in close proximity and time and of young people is even more devastating to comprehend. The questions of "Why?" are never fulled answered.

Kim said...

How horrifically awful. I just don't know what to say but this paragraph here is what brought me to tears:

Her aunt was sick at her own home, too, thankfully as well because she has fewer degrees of separation and managed to take a part in stopping two other middle schoolers from keeping up with their suicide pact with the boy.

8th graders in a suicide pact?!

I just don't have words. Thank you though, for posting this. Parents (sadly) need to see this.

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