Thursday, November 4, 2010

Of Tomatoes and Toe Rings

Our neighbor, Crazy Ed, apparently got picked up for a DUI the next town over not that long ago. What's good for the byways and highways of the area is definitely not good for the folks living in this little patch of paradise. He's been more manic than usual, playing his radio obnoxiously loud as soon as the local "quiet time" ends and playing it until "quiet time" begins again. And he putters about his house and garage, randomly spewing curse words as he goes. [Let us not confuse that with my random spewing of curse words as I go.]

Crazy Ed grows tomatoes. Last year, he started leaving bags of them on our step. Pete dutifully made some of his delicious spaghetti sauce each time, and we would often give Ed some of said sauce. This year, same thing.

Two weeks ago, on a warm rainy day, Pete had prepared sauce, and Youngest and I set about bringing some down to Crazy Ed. Since it was raining and since it was warm, I left my slippers in the house and went down barefoot.

Based on Crazy Ed's reactions to my unshod feet, you'd have thought I'd have gone down there buck-nekkid. He went on and on about me being out in the rain with no shoes on. The wonderment! The disbelief!

Halloween night, the only kids brave enough to venture up to Crazy Ed's door are my own. He doesn't give out candy as a matter of course, but for as long as I can recall, he has purchased big-ass Hershey's candy bars to give to my three kids and the neighbor kid directly across the street from him.

This year, he had an extra treat for me. He laughed as he handed it over.

Toe rings.

If that ain't the creepiest gift I've ever received, I don't know what is. He seems fixated on my feet now, and I don't want to know where that fixation takes him in his mind.



Laura Marchant said...

Ok, that might just beat our avocado!

Magpie said...

Yeah. Ew.

Caloden said...

A foot fetish frmo an unstable neighbor is always a slippery slope. Good luck with that one.

tiff said...

I love it! The toe rings I mean...not that he might have a foot fetish with your feet...giggle! You did bare them to him...smiles!

I love that you make sauce out of the tomatoes you get from him...and then share!

Crazy people always have great stories to tell!

Tara R. said...

As long as he doesn't expect you to stomp the tomatoes barefoot (like grapes for wine) when making that spaghetti sauce, whilst wearing said toe rings... I think you're safe.


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