Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Perchance to Sleep

Sleeplessness seems to be contagious in this household.


I've had several months of awakening in the middle of the night, brain in full throttle, and being unable to stop the barrage of self-flagellation that I manage to keep mostly in check during the daytime hours. I get up and look at the clock. Once. And every so often I try to gauge how many minutes, quarter-hours, hours I have been awake. If it was as late as 4 or so in the morning when I first get out of bed to look at the clock, I eventually cede that the night as won and I get up and start the day. But not the coffee. My rule is the coffee can't be started until 5:45. And not the heat, either. My other rule is the heat has to start up on its own as scheduled. Punishing myself for punishing myself.


One of my children also had a night of wakefulness. That child got up and watched television for two hours starting at about 1:30 a.m. A self-regulator and one prone to rewarding oneself.


Another child got hit with being unable to sleep. For a couple of hours, that child followed my lead, letting the brain race and lead to dark corners. Finally, that child came to me and awakened me from my Thera-Flu and Nyquil laced slumber. And so I found myself at 12:45 a.m. talking that child down from the ledge, commiserating and saying all the right things to enable slumber.


Saying all those things that I seem incapable of saying to myself in the darker hours of the night shift.

2 comments:

Michele R said...

You're a great mom.
That is all for now.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I HATED those late nights/early mornings as a child who needed to be talked down from the ledge, myself. Now, it's the late-night infomercials that quiet the inner demons.

Hope you get some sleep soon, hon.

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