Friday, October 21, 2011


I have a client whose husband has brain cancer. In the year since his diagnosis, there has been some hope and much despair. She does not want to speak of it and, when she does, she is only always upbeat and positive. My colleague and I know the truth through mutual friends and our client's boss. It is grim.

But we do not let on that we know, so we continue on with the years-long project, including her in all discussions and actions. If she is able to do what we need, she does; if she can't, she doesn't. And we all just move on.

We did a focus group earlier this week, and I opined that my life is very difficult of late, what with Pete traveling nearly every week. "It's really hard when he's not home and I'm left to deal with soccer and dance and school activities and work by myself."

"Try having a sick husband who is home and can't do anything," she said.

And that was Perspective giving me a little kick in the ass. And a pain in my gut.


Tara R. said...

No matter how bad we think our lives can get, there's someone who has it worse. It is all about perspective. I'm so sorry for your friend and her husband.

Sian said...

I have a foot injury that blows up every now and again and it flippin well hurts. I was in church, moaning about how sore my foot was and a friend of mine (who has arthritis and is in constant severe pain) walked past. I stopped complaining as soon as I saw her but she had already heard me. I must have looked embarrased because she patted my arm and said very gently "The fact that I am hurting doesn't mean that you cant hurt too"
Just saying.

Janet said...

My comment doesn't seem to be showing up.
So I'll try again.
Sian is right. yes, her situation is incredibly horrible, but that doesn't make yours easy.

Jomama said...

Agreed. Their pain doesn't make your pain less. And sometimes that shift in perspective makes my burden easier to bear. And other times, it ticks me off because I feel my pain is being disregarded.

God bless your friend and ease her way.


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