Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Stupid is as Stupid Does

Item 1:
I was asked to forward this missive to all parents of students in Youngest's fourth grade class. I did so, noting that I was doing so without editorial comment. But my comment would have been something along the lines of, "Here's hoping you all have time to run out and buy costumes by tomorrow!"
Hi Parents - we are very excited to support the first-ever Student Council sponsored "Spring Fling Spirit Day" this Friday May 18. Please help your students show their school spirit by wearing clothing/costume reflecting this year's Chinese New Year theme "Year of the Dragon."   Students who dress up can stop by the Student Council table in the traffic circle at morning drop off for a chance to win free raffle tickets - open up a fortune cookie to see if you're a WINNER!  Thanks for supporting our students and good luck! 

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Item 2:
I receive many missives from all of the schools because I write a feature each week for an online news site that touts the various fundraisers going on at the schools. How's this for great role modeling? This is an auction item for a K-8 school's fundraiser.


Item Description

Do you long for your college days? Wish you could relive them for just one night?
Wear your Alma Mater colors and bring your party attitude, this shin-dig is sureto bring back that Ol' College Spirit!
Complete with all the fixin's from back in the day - better beer, same old munchies.

Reserve your spot at the College Kegger today for only $35 per person.


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Item 3:
Was it not obvious to every bank teller in the place as soon as he walked in that this dude was going to rob the place?




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Item 4:
This is what the Census Bureau decides to show as an example when touting what can be discovered in the newly released census information from 1940? "Why, I remember when we lived just down the road from 2-7."
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Item 5:
You just never know when you need to accessorize the perfect wedding dress with the perfect cell phone.













2 comments:

Tara R. said...

I'm not sure what is funnier, the fundraiser offering or that I was actually born in Lima... I don't think it was at the Hospital for the Criminally Insane.

Patois said...

STFU. Really?! I think you're the first person I've met from there. I determine that to be the most humorous. In your honor, baby.

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