You suck. You know it. We know it. We pay more than $900 each and every month to you so Pete can have health insurance. You bleed us dry at the start of each year when we have to meet our deductible for his prescriptions. In collusion with the pharmaceutical companies -- yeah, I'm talking to you, Pfizer and your Lipitor which is now relatively cheap since one can get it generic, but I'm not forgetting the outrageous prices of the past -- Blue Shield Mofo of California busts our finances more than Wall Street ever did.
But guess what? We're gonna fuck you right back thanks to the Affordable Health Care Act. That's right, we're signing him up and starting January 1, 2014, we're getting him a new plan. [Here's a shout out to the Republican Party: fuck you. Shut down the fucking government. We don't fucking care. But over my dead body am I going to let you repeal Obamacare. You lost that fight years ago. Fuck you.] [Sorry for the foul language. Can you tell how passionate I am about this? Good.]
So, although there are other health insurance providers to choose from, we're going to make Blue Shield Mofo of California give Pete a plan for nearly $4,000 less each year. That's right, we're going to cancel the plan he has with you and make you give him a better plan for much less money. Why? Because it tickles me pink -- PINK -- to make you lose that much off him each and every month for the rest of his life.