Saturday, October 31, 2015


A few weeks ago, one of my employees passed away. She'd taken time off starting in late August. She had a pre-existing kidney condition and it had apparently flared up. Only it hadn't flared up. In the end, it turned out to be cancer. I can't say if the misdiagnosis hastened her end. In the end, it was her end.

She was so polished. She was so together. She was a dancer, not unlike my own dancing girl. She still performed, and she was also a dance teacher. I picture her and her poise and I get a smidgen of a glimpse at how her students must have seen her.

I very much enjoyed my interactions with her, limited as they were to discussing project details and saying, "Good morning!" and "Good night!"

I didn't know the true her. I wonder if we ever know the "true" her or him. Maybe the ones we've snuggled with, we know the truth of who they are. So that's a handful of people in my life.

I donated money to the kitty to get her buried. With a pre-existing condition, there is no life insurance to be had. Our company gave 10 times the amount I gave to get her buried. My colleague -- and good friend -- said if we don't give something to acknowledge such a woman as she was who had been with us for such a long time, what the fuck are we doing here anyway? Only, she doesn't curse, so I've made her remark more colorful.

So I'm going to her memorial in a couple of hours, and I'm going to sit in some Kingdom Hall and encounter people who are believers in the antithesis of my belief, and I'm going to help send her off. I'm going to tell her mother and her sister that I will hold her in my thoughts. I'm going to tell them that she was someone who made a difference.

Aren't we all?

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