Sometimes, thoughts and events converge in my head and a germ of a blog post idea takes hold. I've been making a point of writing down amazing statements people make that cause me to give pause. One such statement was made by a client a few weeks ago as we were debriefing after conducting a focus group with some mothers of babies. It related to the use of cannabis while pregnant, and someone within our client project team said, "Do you think they know it's not good for the baby? Shouldn't we say it?"
"If it's already happened, it's not advice you're giving, it's judgement," said another woman.
I had never heard anything like that said before. I am nearing 60, and I have never heard it put so succinctly well. The mother reporting having used marijuana while pregnant had already given birth to a healthy, thriving baby.
[No, I am not advocating the use of cannabis while pregnant. If you are pregnant or become pregnant, please do not use cannabis unless under the care of a real doctor. If you used cannabis while you were pregnant, it's done. Move along.]
In the world of VOTUS, there's a whole lot of judging going on. I don't deny that I am judging people. In fact, I'm shouting my judgement as loud as I can everywhere I can. And I'm being equally judged by others.
Fair enough because I really don't have any advice for those of you who voted for him. I don't believe in repentance. I don't believe you can make it up in this lifetime and I don't believe there's anything after this lifetime we are living. I recognize that I should encourage you to own your decision and join the resistance now. As Bruce says, this train -- this life -- includes both losers and winners, saints and sinners, so I really should be encouraging you to come on board. But I hate you too much right now.
More recently, as in just last night, that public judgement was heaped upon a FBriend who happens to also be my friend. She had copied and pasted something a day or so prior regarding what was happening with the ACA. The last line of the post was "This post is to drive awareness only, I plan to delete all comments supporting or slamming the post." Seven reacted and five (including me) posted a comment singing to the choir.
The sixth comment? "When do you plan to 'delete all comments supporting...'?"
Judgement? Yes. And I believe the woman who made that comment happens to also be a friend of my friend, as opposed to just your garden-variety fellow local parent FBriend. So feel free to add "public condemnation" to the thrust of her comment.
I messaged my friend, told her I had considered replying to that comment, but then thought I'd be a true friend of hers and leave it to her to deal with publicly or not as she saw fit. My imagined reply morphed into blodder for my home here.
What would my reply have been? Maybe this post. My life feels kind of circular like that right now.