Thursday, April 20, 2017

I Could Use Less Excitement, Too

"So glad you were all able to be here. A little less excitement next time. Love all of you."

I received that text from my Mom as I sat in an airport Monday, making a long trek back to California after a whirlwind few days visiting her in Florida with husband and Youngest. During the course of four whole days with her, our motley crew managed to:

1. Knock over a glass of water at a restaurant with the ultimate result of our waiter rounding a corner and taking a dive, wrecking his knee in the process.

2. Make a conscious decision to not leave a bag in the car because it had chocolate in it and then take a stupid path of putting said bag on floor. Gorgeous hound dog nosed open the drawstring closure and proceeded to eat said item. Chocolate. Brownie. With cannabis.

3. Heading home from the dog-poisoning gathering the next day, shred a tire and have to change it on the red clay sand on the partial shoulder of a busy Florida highway.

Let's just argue that it was a good thing #3 happened when we were with Mom as two of her tires were ready to blow so at least it didn't happen when she was on her own.

And let's argue that you can't really blame #1 on me as I was the mere recipient of the water spilled by my sister. I was not even present for the great disaster befalling our poor waiter.

#2? No one to blame but myself. And while I do believe the possession of said cannabis can be explained to the degree that you, dear reader, would find it reasonable, I'll just let you think what you will. And acknowledge that, yes, I did poison a dog. With chocolate. And cannabis. Overall, I think she enjoyed the high.

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